Sunday, May 1, 2011

The Real Housewives Of New York City Is Currently Boring Without Bethenny

That is Ramona and her pinot grigio with her arm around the Bethenny replacement, Cindy Barshop, at Cindy's birthday party, that was not a birthday party, at some horse farm at what is, apparently, known as the downscale zone of the Hamptons on Long Island.

This latest episode of The Real Housewives of New York City may have been one of the most boring in Housewive Franchise history.

I'm starting to think the loss of Bethenny Frankel has left a HUGE hole that the remaining housewives, and the new one, can't fill.

Speaking of the new housewife, Cindy, who is not married and so is not a wife, along with Countess Luann and Kelly, who also have no husbands, I really do not like Cindy.

In all of New York City the RHONY producers could not do better than this?

I'm starting to wonder if the reason the New York girls had their show's premiere postponed was because it was realized how boring it was. So, they went back over their footage to see if there was some more material to work with.

For months Bravo milked "Thug in a Cocktail Dress" in promos. The "Thug in a Cocktail Dress" really turned out to be much ado about little.

This week it was Sonja falling off a horse that got the promo blitz. And that turned out to be nothing. We should have figured, after seeing Sonja's ample derriere exposed in the first episode's preview of the coming season, that Sonja had ample padding, on her backside, to easily overcome a hard landing on it.

Luann had a cocktail party at which Ramona provided a little drama by grilling Luann about leaving her kids in the Hamptons while she goes to NYC. To work on her music career. When Luann talks about working on her music career it seems even funnier than when Kim Zolciak does it.

Due to it being so boring I lose track of the sequence of events. At one point Sonja meets Cindy downtown for lunch. This turns into way too much about Cindy's problem with her teeth veneers. Which somehow had Cindy thinking it was okay to bail on the lunch she had invited Sonja to. But not before Sonja told Cindy she was planning on inviting Ramona to Sonja's toaster oven cooking lessons with Kelly. Which had Cindy advising against this.

Then at Luann's cocktail party Cindy got Kelly aside and warned her not to bring her kids to Sonja's toaster oven cooking lesson. This had Kelly scared as to what the threat could possibly be. This had Cindy swearing Kelly to secrecy, after which she informed her about Sonja's evil Ramona plan.

Despite promising discretion, Kelly then later confronted Sonja, on the beach, in the Hamptons, about the Ramona Intervention. Sonja tried to reason with Kelly, which we've learned is not possible, which soon had Kelly laying on the sand making sand angels.

There was an extremely boring segment at Luann's house in Southampton, with her daughter. Then boyfriend, Jacque, showed up where he got weird on the floor, talking to the dog. Jacque sort of creeps me out. He looks to be half the size of Luann. On Watch What Happens Live Luann said Jacque gets told a lot he looks like David Schwimmer and Adrian Brody. Can David and Adrian sue for such slander?

We saw a segment with Luann taking her son, Noel, to a skate shop, on Long Island, where Noel hawked the skateboards he has designed. I know Luann has been a bit cash strapped waiting for her singing career to take off, but putting the young teenager to work seemed a bit much. Noel has a website selling his skateboards. He calls his business Fancy Fool. He seems like a good kid.

Cindy made a big deal about a party at the aforementioned horse farm not being a birthday party, for her, because she never has birthday parties. But it turned out to be a big, weird birthday party. It was funny when Ramona arrived and demanded her pinot grigio. Before noon. And then Ramona wanted to ride a horse, but they would not allow her to take the reigns, instead leading Ramona around like a little drunk kid on a pony.

Cindy had a freak out because dip was on the buffet table. She's really weird.

Ramona then tried to confront Cindy's brother, Howie, about some remark he made about a cigar and Ramona's dead friend, Jeff. I sort of get Ramona's point. But can that woman carry a grudge? And always choose the wrong time to address it.

Jill returns from Australia in next week's episode. RHONY better pick up. There are battle lines drawn now. Cindy has royally pissed off Sonja. Crazy Kelly can return at any time. Ramona reliably provides amusement. I am somewhat optimistic that this week's episode was just a lull before a big crazy storm.

That is sort of hinted at the Housewive's blogs on the Bravo website. I've not seen so much sniping at each other on the blogs before. A lot of defensive spinning of the "facts." Reading the blogs was more entertaining than watching the show.

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