Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Bachelor Pad: Peyton & Jesse B Evicted While Jesse K Rails Elizabeth in the Fantasy Suite

I think I said I was done with ABC's Bachelor Pad train wreck. Well, the DVR recorded it, and there was nothing else tempting me to watch. And so I FFed Bachelor Pad.

This latest episode was actually sort of entertaining. And sleazy.

It started off with the news that 3 girls would be leaving that morning. Via a fairly simple method. In a long drawn out process, determined by the spin of a bottle, one by one the remaining 4 boys asked one of the girls if she would accept a kiss, not a rose, a kiss, with the kiss signifying they would now be teamed as a couple in the Bachelor Pad.

So, there was no suspense, even though the boys paced back and forth in front of the girls. Jesse B kissed Peyton, Jesse K kissed Elizabeth, Dave G kissed Natalie and Kiptyn kissed Tenley.

Then there was a water balloon toss to determine which couple got the magic roses with a solo date. Dave and Natalie won the balloon toss.

On their date Dave and Natalie got to drive a car to the beach. But not before Jesse K and Elizabeth broke it in by making out all over the vehicle.

I do not recollect a Fantasy Suite offer popping up on Dave and Natalie. But, Jesse and Elizabeth got rebellious and snuck into the Bachelor Pad's Fantasy Suite.

I was totally confused. Has this been the Fantasy Suite these people have been staying in? I thought it was out of the Bachelor Pad. They come back to the Bachelor Pad and then go up to the Fantasy Suite?

So, for the first time it was made totally clear what goes on in the Fantasy Suite, when, during a bizarre bit of post-coital dialog between Jesse and Elizabeth, Elizabeth said, in response to something Jesse said that, "you just got laid." Previous to that there was some talk of railing. The lingo these kids use is lost on me.

Now, when Jesse and Elizabeth had their post-coital conversation, the camera was right there to record it. How does that happen? Do Jesse and Elizabeth signal that they are done and ready to have some post-coital conversation recorded? Or is the cameraman with them all the time?

Elizabeth did not seem very satisfied with Kovac's Fantasy Suite performance. Before going to the Fantasy Suite to perform, Jesse told us that he knew Elizabeth was nuts, or crazy, or something like that. I don't find her attractive at all. You can see her wrinkled old lady future when the camera is in closeup mode or the lighting is bad.

There was a lot of talk about strategy. About how it would be best to get rid of Kovacs and Elizabeth. It was all drawn out and pointless. In the end the predictable boot got booted, Jesse B and Peyton. I like both of them. Though I do not understand why Jesse B would cover his skin with so many tattoos.

Next week is the finale of Bachelor Pad. All the evictees are back.

What is with the incestuous relationship between Bachelor Pad and Dancing with the Stars? Last week the new dancing cast of DWTS was announced live during Bachelor Pad. In this week's previews we learn that the couples get taught a ballroom dance by DWTS pro dancers, like Edyta, who Dave gets all drooly over. Somehow the couple's dance performance figures in to how the final two couples are determined.

And then that final couple fights in a mud wrestling match to see who wins the $250,000 they all seem quite desperate to win. I made that up.

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