Sunday, September 12, 2010

Bachelor Pad Finale: Who Has Been Impregnated?

Tomorrow night, Monday, September 13, ABC's Bachelor Pad comes to a merciful 2 hour end.

Last week Bachelor Pad somehow managed to come in #12 in the Nielsen Ratings.

Before Bachelor Pad premiered, its producer, Mike Fleiss, sleazily claimed an impregnation took place during the filming of the randy occupants of the Bachelor Pad.

I believe part of tomorrow's 2 hour bloat is some sort of reunion show. Will it be revealed who is heavy with child?

I think we can narrow down the suspects.

It is not likely that one of the girls who was not paired with one of the guys somehow managed a momentary assignation that resulted in getting in the family way.

It seems obvious our chief suspects are Tenley, Natalie, Elizabeth and Peyton.

Now, Peyton seems highly unlikely, but there was some sleazy implications when Peyton spent the night with Jesse B in the notorious baby-making Fantasy Suite. But then the next time the Fantasy Suite offer came up, with Jesse B, Peyton had no interest.

Now, before Natalie switched her affections to David Good, she was all over Jesse B. If Natalie turns out to be the mother-to-be it would seem the suspected impregnaters would be Jesse B or David.

Tenley and Kiptyn spent a night in the notorious Fantasy Suite. After Tenley shared with us that she had not been with a man since, now disgraced, Jake Pavelka had his way with her, implying she was about to have her way with Kiptyn. Tenley strikes me as the type of girl who would be careful about unwanted surprises.

That leaves us with one more suspect.

Elizabeth Kitt.

Elizabeth is my #1 suspect. First off, unlike Tenley, Elizabeth strikes me as the type of girl who might be careless about unwanted surprises. Elizabeth is the only one of the girls about whom there is no doubt that she engaged in the behavior that can lead to baby production.

As in, last week Elizabeth and Jesse Kovacs snuck into the Fantasy Suite, where they proceeded to break the bed working on their fantasy. After the bed breaking part of the evening was over Elizabeth proceeded to harangue Jesse about not romancing her enough. Jesse then asked Elizabeth, "What about what we just did." To which Elizabeth replied, "You just got laid, is what we just did."

Now, unless the vernacular has changed for this younger generation, "getting laid" means having engaged in pro-creative activities.

So, my guess is poor Jesse Kovacs is about to be a baby daddy. Of all those girls my thinking is the only one worse to manage to knock up would be Michelle, she being the first one booted out of the Bachelor Pad, after a brouhaha regarding Tenley's rumor mongering that Michelle had been hankypankying in the middle of the night with the poofy-haired Canadian, Craig McKinnon

I'm thinking maybe Michelle should be added to the list of suspects.

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