The Bachelorette: Ali Dumps Kirk & Wondering About Frank's Tahiti Breakdown

No, that is not an artist's rendering of what The Bachelorette, Ali Fedotowsky, will look like in 20 years. You are looking at this week's rejected bachelor, Kirk's, mom.

Of the 4 families that Ali visited during this week's sacred Hometown Visits, or as they are called in Bachelor/Bachelorette speak "Hometowns," Kirk's family had the most, well, unusual family.

I was going to say creepy, rather than unusual, but that seemed mean. Kirk seems like such a normal guy.

I was not quite sure what was going on with Kirk's mom's teeth. Were those braces? Or an awful lot of silver fillings?

As for Kirk's dad. Well. I think Kirk was pretty much rejected when Ali got led by Kirk's dad into the killing zone in his basement. There was just way too much taxidermying going on in that basement.

Another thing about Kirk's dad is he seemed to be real young. It almost looked like Kirk stuck a fake mustache on his little brother and told him to play the dad role.

So, with Kirk rejected, it is off to Tahiti for those fabled Fantasy Suite dates with Roberto, Chris and Frank.

I don't know if the boys are up to the challenge.

It appears, via the previews, that Frank has some sort of major malfunction. A couple weeks ago there was a preview snippet that showed Frank either knocking on the door of a long-haired brunette, or vice versa. Then we cut to Frank telling Ali they needed to talk. Then Ali in tears.

My theory of the Frank Scandal is that the brunette was an ex-girl friend, who was ex-ed prior to Frank seeking love on The Bachelorette, not an ongoing girl friend like that Justin cad had.

So, I'm thinking Frank's ex showed up. Where? I have no clue how that would work. Maybe when Frank was home for the Sacred Hometown Visit. The ex shows up because she has something very important to tell Frank. She's pregnant.

Now, my theory has a couple problems. If Frank was told he was going to be a baby daddy when he was home, even if it was after Ali left to return to Los Angeles, by the time Frank got back to LA he'd had time to realize he had a problem. Why would he wait until he is in Tahiti, after Ali had rejected Kirk, to tell Ali he had a problem.

Did the prospect of a much anticipated romp in one of those notorious Fantasy Suites cloud Frank's judgement, until after the Fantasy Suite romping when his conscience got the better of him?

Who knows? It should make for riveting trainwreck Reality TV viewing.

On a totally different subject. At some point on Monday's show Ali said something about now being at the point where she left Jake, then tried to come back. I forget what Ali said. But I thought to myself that she is saying this way before we all found out what a bullet Ali dodged by getting away from Jake the control freak poster boy for Little Man Syndrome.