Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Dancing With The Stars Boots George Clooney's Ex & Maks' Brother Val While Chaz Bono's Knees Ache & Nancy Grace's Boobs Get Noticed

Last week I opined that I thought Val Chmerkovskiy and Elisabetta Canalis would get the first boot from Dancing with the Stars.

I was off by one week.

Maks' brother Val did not seem to share his brother's natural entertainment ability. And the "star" Val was partnered with who's chief claim to fame, near as I can tell, was hooking up for awhile with George Clooney, well, Elisabetta really did not look like she was having herself a fine, fun time on Dancing with the Stars.

Joining George's ex in the bottom 3 where David Arquette and Chaz Bono, along with their pro partners, Kym Johnson and Lacey Schwimmer.

I figured it would be either Chaz or Elisabetta who got the boot this week. Chaz seems like a nice kid, but he is pretty much morbidly obese and the dancing is buckling his knees. The novelty of watching Chaz attempt to dance has worn thin for me. And I wish he'd lose that sad beard. A beard does not a man make.

I really do not like David Arquette.

I am in the Central Time Zone. Unlike the West Coast, I get to watch DWTS live. However, I did not see Nancy Grace's alleged wardrobe malfunction and nipple exposure. That exposure has been denied by Nancy Grace.

Yet, for some reason when the dance was over, in my time zone, I heard cheering and applause, yet twice we cut to a group of people sitting quiet like they were waiting for church to start.

And Tom Bergeron said, for some reason, that what had just happened would be just fine on European TV, but not on American TV. So, something must have happened.

I do not know if an investigation is underway to get to the bottom of Nancy Grace's Nipplegate Scandal.

I am liking Nancy Grace much more than I thought I would.

The Amazing Race Episode 1 Season 19 With Survivors

A couple days after the airing of Episode 1 of Season 19 of CBS's The Amazing Race I got around to watching it.

The Amazing Race used to be Must See TV for me. I think the show may actually have gotten better over the years, but the novelty has worn off.

It used to seem like The Amazing Race was taking me to places I've not seen before. The first episode season 19 took me to Taipei, Taiwan. Nice town. Been there, done that. We were just in Taiwan a few weeks ago on The Bachelorette.

I did enjoy the lost passport drama brought courtesy of Kaylani and Lisa. Even though it did have a slightly manufactured feel to it.

How could so many of the racers not know their was to LAX? Didn't most of them fly in to Los Angeles via LAX?

The CBS The Amazing Race website has gone through a makeover. I did not like it. Whoever wrote the re-cap of Sunday's episode made a real mess of it, turning the re-cap into one very very very long paragraph.

I fixed the CBS re-cap and copy it below for your reading pleasure.....

After losing a passport on the way to LAX, Kaylani & Lisa appeared out of the race before it had barely begun, but the former Vegas showgirls overcame every obstacle to stay in the race.

Eleven teams gathered at Hsi Lai Temple in the foothills of Los Angeles for the start of The Amazing Race. Included among the teams were former Survivor winners Ethan & Jenna, former Olympic snowboarders Andy & Tommy, former NFL player Marcus with his wife Amani, and the first teenager to sail solo around the world, Zac, now running the race with his father, Laurence. At the starting line, host Phil Keoghan welcomed the anxious teams, informing them that over the course of twelve legs they would be tested like they’ve never been tested before. Once again, the team that finished first on the first leg would win the Express Pass that could be used through the eighth leg, before or during any challenge they didn’t want to complete. And, as More...always, after twelve legs, the team to cross the finish line first would win The Amazing Race and one million dollars.

Phil then introduced the first challenge of the race, a word puzzle, directly behind the host. To solve the puzzle, teams needed to use the six letters, WANPEI, that appeared above rows and rows of brightly colored umbrellas and combine them with three specific letters (TAI) which they needed to find on one of the umbrellas. Using those letters twice and combining them with the six letters above the umbrellas, teams would discover their first destination: Taipei, Taiwan. If teams got the correct umbrella, Phil would hand them a set of keys to one of the Ford Explorers parked in front of the temple. In addition, the last team to solve the word puzzle would receive a new penalty called a Hazard that they would have to complete sometime in this leg of the race. After revealing the six letters, WANPEI, to the teams, Phil declared, "Let’s get this race started. The world is waiting for you.” With a wave of Phil’s hand, the eleven teams sprinted to the colorful wall of umbrellas and began opening them trying to figure out what they needed to find to solve the word puzzle. Snowboarder Tommy told his partner Andy, "Look for vowels.” This tactic paid off when Andy found an umbrella with the letters T-A-I on it. When the professional snowboarders presented the umbrella to Phil, he gave them keys to a Ford Explorer. Jumping into the Explorer, Andy & Tommy discovered that there were two flight options to Taipei, Taiwan: China Airlines with enough seats to carry 8 teams and EVA Air which departed 20 minutes later. One by one, teams found an umbrella with the letters T-A-I on it until only siblings Justin & Jennifer and former Vegas showgirls Kaylani & Lisa remained at the wall, rifling through umbrellas as quickly as they could. Lisa and Justin both knew what they needed to find, but Justin got it faster when he opened up a bright orange umbrellas emblazoned with T-A-I. For coming in last place, Kaylani & Lisa now faced a Hazard penalty somewhere in this leg of the race. Jumping into an Explorer, Kaylani lamented, "It sucks, but anything can happen.”

Kaylani’s words proved prophetic, but probably not in the way she intended. When she & Lisa stopped at a gas station for directions to LAX, Kaylani’s passport fell out of the truck, unseen by either of them. After driving off, Kaylani soon realized she did not have her passport, prompting Lisa to say, "Kaylani, you’re killing me.” Guessing the passport may have dropped from the car at the gas station, Kaylani & Lisa returned, only to find there was no passport on the ground nor turned into the station’s attendant. With their options dwindling, the former Vegas showgirls decided to drive to LAX with hopes that another team found the passport. Lisa noted, "If none of them have it, it’s over.”

Meanwhile, at LAX, domestic partners Ron & Bill, dating couple Ethan & Jenna, engaged couple Ernie & Cindy, married couple Amani & Marcus, father and son Laurence & Zac, siblings Justin & Jennifer, professional snowboarders Andy & Tommy, and dating couple Jeremy & Sandy all booked seats on the China Airlines flight, scheduled to land 20 minutes ahead of the EVA Air flight. Booking the last available pair of seats on Chain Airlines, a relieved Sandy remarked, "We’re happy we’re one of the first 8.” While waiting at the gate for their flight, teams buzzed about former Survivor winners Ethan & Jenna, who Sandy recognized instantly. Informing other teams, Sandy gossiped, "They both have a million dollars.” Justin joked, "That’s just greedy.” Unaware of the chatter, Ethan & Jenna commented on how they had not planned on telling other teams about being on Survivor because of the "giant” target it would place on their backs.

Arriving at LAX, Kaylani & Lisa had their last hope extinguished when they learned that nobody turned in a lost passport. Walking away from the counter, a dejected Lisa said, "It’s over.” A more positive Kaylani suggested, "We need to come up with a plan. Communicate with me.” Lisa shot back, "What plan? You have no passport! I’m going nowhere because you have no passport!” Just when the race appeared over for Kaylani & Lisa, the impossible happened. After being paged to the information desk, Kaylani met a man who told her he found her passport. She and Lisa erupted in ear-splitting cheers and screams as they booked seats on the EVA Air flight with twins Liz & Marie and grandparents Bill & Cathi. The man of the hour, Ryan Storms, explained how he found the passport on the ground at the gas station and, after giving directions to Andy & Tommy, realized these were teams on The Amazing Race. With no way to contact Kaylani, Ryan sent out a tweet and got a response from someone telling him to drive to LAX to give her the passport or she would not be able to continue racing. Ryan and his buddy wished the excited former showgirls good luck as Lisa exclaimed, "It’s a miracle!”

Landing in Taipei, Taiwan, the eight teams on the China Airlines flight all boarded a bus heading to the Ximending Commercial District. Running into the district, the teams needed to figure out that, instead of looking for a cluebox, they had to look up and figure out they were searching for an electronic billboard that would reveal their next destination. However, this realization did not come quickly for the teams as they searched any and every item adorned in red and yellow. Jenna later complained, "Everything here is race colors. The people working in the streets had yellow and red hats on. It’s practically the national color here.” Andy & Tommy unsuccessfully asked a shirtless local man for a clue when they noticed he had on yellow and red boxer shorts. Finally, siblings Justin & Jennifer paired up with married couple Amani & Marcus who noticed the electronic billboard with yellow and red balloons that popped to reveal Chinese characters. The two teams wrote down the characters and asked a local man who told them it translated to Taipei Confucius Temple.

Joining Amani & Marcus and Justin & Jennifer on the subway, engaged couple Ernie & Cindy, domestic partners Ron & Bill, and dating couple Jeremy & Sandy all ran into Taipei Confucius Temple together to find the first Roadblock. In it, one team member had to take on a Confucius clue using the temple’s pay phone. After dialing 1-800-CONFUCIUS, teams would hear a Confucius proverb they had to memorize without taking any notes. If they could recite it word for word to a monk, he would hand over the next clue. After a brief hunt to find the phone, Cindy, Amani, Sandy, Jennifer, and Ron began taking turns dialing the phone and listening to the following Confucius proverb: In all things success depends on previous preparation. And without such previous preparation there is sure to be failure. On her first attempt at reciting the proverb to the monk, Cindy only missed two words while Sandy and Amani fared far worse on their tries. Ron began showing signs of frustration as his guesses to the monk reached twenty. As racers mounted one wrong guess after another, Cindy returned to the monk and correctly recited the proverb receiving the next clue, instructing her & Ernie to travel by taxi to Dajia Riverside Park.

Landing in Taipei on the EVA Air flight, former Vegas showgirls Kaylani & Lisa and twins Liz & Marie got a small lead on grandparents Bill & Cathi by jumping on a bus ahead of them. However, that lead was erased as all three teams wandered near the Ximending District, unable to find the billboard with their next clue. Eventually, Kaylani & Lisa and Liz & Marie, working together, stumbled upon the yellow and red screen, prompting Kaylani to joke, "Are we idiots or what?” However, Bill & Cathi continued to wander further away from the district, wasting time as they rode an elevator up a skyscraper hoping to find their clue. Standing befuddled on the street, Bill quipped, "Color me stupid.”

With Justin & Jennifer and Jeremy & Sandy close behind, Ernie & Cindy arrived at Dajia Riverside Park in first place where they discovered they had to join a dragon boat race team. One team member had to paddle with the crew while the other would keep the rhythm of the drum as they row through the course. As Ernie grabbed an oar to paddle with the crew, Cindy started beating the drum as she joked, "I feel so Asian right now.” Just as Jeremy & Sandy and Justin & Jennifer took to their dragon boats, Ernie & Cindy came back around to complete the course. Opening their next clue, the engaged couple learned they had to find the Pit Stop at National Revolutionary Martyrs’ Shrine. Managing to keep their lead, engaged couple Ernie & Cindy ran onto the mat in first place at Martyrs’ Shrine to claim the Express Pass. Cindy told Phil, "It feels really awesome to be in first right now.” Dating couple Jeremy & Sandy finished the day in second place, siblings Justin & Jennifer took third place, former Survivor winners Ethan & Jenna grabbed fourth, and married couple Amani & Marcus placed fifth. Father and son Laurence & Zac narrowly edged out professional snowboarders Andy & Tommy to finish in sixth place while domestic partners Ron & Bill settled for eighth.

As Bill & Cathi continued to wander the streets of Taipei in search of the billboard, Liz struggled to memorize the proverb at Confucius Temple after watching Lisa breeze through the challenge. Twin sister, Marie, became increasing frustrated watching her sister fail every time she recited the proverb to the monk. A confused Liz said, "I don’t know what I’m missing. You should’ve done this one.” Marie responded, "You can’t say that. You just have to do it.” Having received the Hazard penalty for coming in last on the first challenge, former Vegas showgirls Kaylani & Lisa traveled to the Core City Pacific Mall and found their clue on the 11th floor of the mall. To complete the Hazard, one team member had to bungee jump head first into the crowded mall. Kaylani volunteered, but confessed, "I ain’t gonna lie. I’m scared.” As the countdown to her taking the plunge neared zero, Kaylani bit her lip, took a deep breath, and stepped off the ledge. Screaming as she fell and then bounced up and down, Kaylani successfully finished the Hazard, declaring, "I said I would do anything for a million dollars. I meant it.” When the former Vegas showgirls finished their day in ninth place, they told Phil, "We thought it was over [in Los Angeles]. It’s been quite the journey.”

As Bill & Cathi finally found the billboard in Ximending District, Liz successfully recited the Confucius proverb to remain one step ahead of the last place grandparents. As the twins rowed on the dragon boats, Bill watched Cathi listen on the telephone at the temple, saying, "After 41 years of marriage, it’s imperative that you get the support you need from your partner. At the end of the day, no matter what kind of day, we’re always there for each other.” When Liz & Marie ended the leg in tenth place, Bill & Cathi enjoyed the view from the dragon boat knowing they would finish last. Cathi commented, "We’ve had a wonderful time on the race. Some frustration of course, but I think we feel good about the race that we ran.”Stepping onto the mat in last place at Martyrs’ Shrine, Bill & Cathi got a huge shock when Phil revealed that this was a non-elimination leg and they were still in the race. Along with informing the grandparents they would be facing a Speed Bump in the next leg, Phil warned them about the first ever double elimination. At the end of the next leg, two teams would be eliminated. Cathi joked, "We will need some ginseng or something to get the energy up, but to keep racing after having the day that we had, my gosh.”

Order of Finish:
1. Ernie & Cindy
2. Jeremy & Sandy
3. Justin & Jennifer
4. Ethan & Jenna
5. Amani & Marcus
6. Laurence & Zac
7. Andy & Tommy
8. Ron & Bill
9. Kaylani & Lisa
10. Liz & Marie
11. Bill & Cathi

Nielsen Rating's Top 20 TV Shows for September 19 - September 25

The Nielsen Rating's Top 20 TV Shows for September 19 - September 25. The first number is the ranking, the second number is the season average, then the show name and network. The last number represents the number of viewers in millions. An asterisk * indicates a tie.

Rank Show name
Viewers in millions
Season-to-date average (in millions)
1. Two and a Half Men
2. NFL: Steelers/Colts
4. 2 Broke Girls
5. Dancing with the Stars
6. NCIS: Los Angeles
7. Big Bang Theory (8:30)
8. Dancing with the Stars Results
9. Modern Family (9:30)
* Modern Family (9:00)
11. Big Bang Theory (8:00)
12. Criminal Minds
* Unforgettable
14. The Mentalist
15. Castle
* Person of Interest
17. CSI
18. X Factor (Thu.)
* X Factor (Wed.)
20. 60 Minutes

Saturday, September 24, 2011

The X Factor Appears To Be A Big Copy Cat Fail So Far

With the help of my DVR's fast forward button I have made it through the first 4 episodes of The X Factor.

I somehow thought Simon Cowell was bringing an original new singing competition Reality TV Show to American TV. I did not realize The X Factor was a British import. Like America's Got Talent, which came from Britain's Got Talent.

Speaking of America's Got Talent, so far, The X Factor seems to be the same show as America's Got Talent. Same format for the auditions anyway.

Maybe The X Factor starts being unique when it gets to the "Boot Camp" part, and then the live shows.

The first hour of The X Factor seemed to have 4 Susan Boyle moments. By the 4th Susan Boyle moment the moments started seeming manufactured to me.

I remember no names, but in the first hour, which were the Los Angeles auditions, we started off with a cute little girl who had the crowd on their feet. Then an abused 42 year old lady with two kids who had the crowd on their feet. Then an Usher like kid who had the crowd on their feet. And finally a guy 70 days out of re-hab who had the crowd in their feet.

By the 2nd hour, in Seattle, 3rd hour in Miami and 4th hour in Dallas, I'd gotten used to the formula.

The initial ratings for The X Factor have not been good.

I think a lot of viewers were likely thinking there was nothing new, different, original or relevant about this latest singing competition show.

Except for it having the biggest prize in Reality Show history, at $5 million.

I must mention the Seattle auditions. Opening with a guy exposing himself, with Paula Abdul recoiling in horror and running from Key Arena was just bizarre. Was The X Factor so unsure of itself that it had to use such a tacky gimmick?

Methinks Simon Cowell may have a big fail on his hands. Me also thinks there are a lot of TV viewers who may derive some reality pleasure from Simon Cowell suffering a big fail, due to The X Factor being un-original and irrelevant.

That is what is known as irony.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Christine Sent To Redemption Island On Survivor South Pacific While Brandon Fixates On Mikayla

Christine Markoski of the Upolu Tribe joined Semhar Tadesse of the Savaii Tribe on Redemption Island, which would seem to indicate Christine was the second bootee off Survivor South Pacific.

This make two episodes in a row where the pre-Tribal Council plotting did not match the end result.

The Savaii's Ozzy magically found a Hidden Immunity Idol, hidden up a tree. I think it'd be a good plan to get rid of the Hidden Immunity Idol gimmick. Although it would be amusing to see Ozzy get the boot again whilst failing to play the idol, again.

Russell Hantz's nephew, Brandon worked really hard to try and get Mikayla booted out of his tribe. In the end Mikayla received no votes.

Brandon Hantz is starting to seem to be even more of a piece of work than his infamous uncle.

I don't remember if it was in the previews for next week, or on this week's episode, but whenever it was said, what Brandon said was troubling, that being that he is in a constant internal battle between good and evil.

Sort of like Robert Mitchum in The Night of the Hunter.

One can not help but wonder what Brandon Hantz has done in his past to make him turn so overtly and fervently to being a marching soldier of the Lord. Brandon's impassioned prayer with the coach, after revealing to the coach his "evil" relative connection, was of the Creepy Christian sort, to my viewing eyes and ears.

Brandon's unseemly obsession over Mikayla Wingle is something I do not think we have seen on Survivor before. I know a lot of the leering and seeming obsessiveness is courtesy of artful editing. But, still, Brandon has to be giving the editors the material to artfully edit.

Someone on Survivor Sucks calling him or herself "gabbo529" opined quite sueccinctly about the oddness that is Brandon Hantz...

I'm not sure what to think of Brandon. His internal struggle is by far one of the most interesting character developments I've seen on the show in years. Especially considering last season we had the Rob's Zombies show. I find myself getting annoyed by his hypocrisy and denouncement of Mikalya who has done NOTHING wrong, but I find it interesting to watch. Has there ever been a guy on the show that's had two sides like this before: religious, moral zealot/creepy, rage-filled stalker. His whole time on the show you can just picture the devil on one side and the angel on the other.

As some have said, this imbalance probably would have not allowed him to be on the show if his last name wasn't Hantz. With that said, he is on the show and I'm interested to see where this goes from here.

I think it likely that Coach will be turning on Brandon, due to Brandon's lies about who was voting for Mikayla. If Brandon goes to the dark, evil side, I suspect eventually Survivor Security will need to arrive to remove Brandon in a straightjacket. That will make for some good television viewing.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Top Chef Texas In Dallas, San Antonio & Austin Adding Judges Emeril Lagasse & Hugh Acheson

My favorite Reality TV hostess is coming to my town. That would be Top Chef's Padma Lakshmi coming to Dallas.

Top Chef Texas is taking place in San Antonio, Austin and Dallas.

BRAVO has yet to announce when this Fall that Top Chef Texas is going to premiere.

BRAVO has announced that famed restaurateur and celebrity chef, Emeril Lagasse and fellow celebrity chef, Hugh Acheson, who rose to fan favorite fame on Top Chef Masters, will join Padma, Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons as judges in Texas.

Hugh Acheson is known for his amusing commentary. And his signature uni-brow.

BRAVO's ads for Top Chef Texas are indicating that everything is Bigger in Texas. Living in Texas I can tell you that this is true. Including the people. Many Texans like to eat. A lot.

One of the ways Top Chef is being bigger in Texas is by having the competition taking place in 3 different cities. San Antonio and Austin are fairly close to each other, at about 80 miles between the two towns. Dallas is about 270 miles north of San Antonio.

That's a long time in the saddle for Padma to ride her horse from the Alamo to Big D.

Methinks Top Chef Texas is going to be very amusing and entertaining. With some Barbecue and Tex-Mex in the mix.

Nielsen Rating's Top 20 TV Shows for September 12 - September 18

The Nielsen Rating's Top 20 TV Shows for September 12 - September 18. The first number is the ranking, the second number is the season average, then the show name and network. The last number represents the number of viewers in millions. An asterisk * indicates a tie.

Rank Show name
Viewers in millions
Season-to-date average(in millions)
1. NFL: Eagles/Falcons
2. America's Got Talent (Wed.)
3. America's Got Talent (Tue.)
4. Football Night Pt.. 3
5. 60 Minutes
6. Emmy Awards
7. Up All Night (Wed.)
8. Survivor: South Pacific
10. NCAA Football: Oklahoma/Fla. State
11. Big Bang Theory (8:30)
12. NCIS: Los Angeles
13. Jacqueline Kennedy: Own Words
14. Football Night Pt.. 2
15. Big Bang Theory (8:00)
* NCIS: Los Angeles
17. The Mentalist
18. Big Brother (Wed.)
19. Wipeout (Tue.)
20. Blue Bloods

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Two and a Half Men Premieres With Record Ratings and a Barely Clothed Ashton Kutcher

Alan Spills Charlie's Ashes
Two and a Half Men steamrolled over Dancing with the Stars, ratings-wise, with its Season 9 premiere, drawing 27.8 million voyeurs, I mean viewers.

The episode started with Charlie's funeral.

Apparently he died in Paris. Where he was on a romantic trip with the long-smitten Rose.

However, Rose caught Charlie in the shower with another woman. Rose said her love was unconditional, but the next day somehow Charlie found himself shoved in front of a Paris train, rendering him, in Rose's words, "Like a big balloon of exploding meat."

Which had Charlie's nephew suddenly hungry.

It was a very irreverant funeral with a lot of bitter women.

Later back at Charlie's Malibu Beach house a parade of amusing guest stars showed up to check out the house for sale, like John Stamos and Dharma & Greg, aka, Jenna Elfman & Thomas Gibson.

UPS delivered Charlie's cremated ashes. Which you knew Alan would manage to spill, which he did when Ashton Kutcher showed up outside the house, looking in, after an aborted suicide attempt.

Ashton Kutcher is billionaire Walden Schmidt, who was wanting to kill himself after his girl friend dumped him. Soon Alan was consoling Walden, talking him into going out to a bar and out of his wet clothes, which had Alan obsessed over Walden's plus-sized private parts. And the fact that Walden was very comfortable with being naked.

At the bar Walden and Alan met a couple girls. Soon they were back at Charlie's with Walden and the two girls upstairs in Charlie's bedroom. The next morning Walden came downstairs, still naked, to introduce himself to Bertha, then informed Alan that last night he'd had sex with the two girls. To which Alan replied that last night he'd cried and masturbated.

It never ceases to amaze me what words and situations get said and portrayed on modern American TV.

But we retain enough prudishness to blur out Walden's nakedness.

Walden informs Alan he is buying Charlie's house, and is giving Alan a big naked hug when Alan's ex-wife and son Jake walk in to see Alan being hugged by a tall naked stranger, who then goes upstairs with Alan's ex-wife proclaiming, "I like him," as she watched Walden's blurred bare butt go upstairs.

I suspect the ratings for Two and a Half Men will go down now that the voyeurs have their one time look.

Paul Beats Will On Hell's Kitchen Season 9 Finale to be Executive Chef at BLT Steak in New York City

Paul Niedermann, the guy fellow chef, Jennifer Plumley, had a huge crush on, on Monday night, became the latest winner of Hell's Kitchen.

The final two to last in Hell's Kitchen were Paul and Will Lustberg. Many assumed Will was the favorite to win. But Will had some woes with his final dinner service, while Paul had the good luck to have the Primo Diva, Elise Wims, on her best behavior, helping him win.

In the first hour of the 2 hour Hell's Kitchen finale it was down to the aforementioned Paul, Will and Elise.

And Tommy Stevens.

For weeks I've wondered why Tattooed Tommy had not been booted out of Hell's Kitchen. Tommy seemed to have a lot of competency issues. Apparently he was amusing to Chef Gordon Ramsay. We saw that via outtakes at the end, where Ramsay kept making jokes about Tommy's teenage girlfriend.

In the first hour we met Tommy's girlfriend. And mother. Tommy engaged in way too high a level of public display of affection with his teenage girlfriend. We also met Will's wife and mother. Or was it mother-in-law? Elise was surprised Will's wife was sort of good-looking. I was surprised to learn Elise was married and had reproduced. As for Paul, he has not married or reproduced. His big brother was his loved one in the Loved Ones Show Up Episode.

Paul won the reward challenge in the Loved Ones Show Up Episode. This had Elise in tears, again, as Paul and his big brother took a limo to some VIP treatment with Tommy Lasorda and the Los Angeles Dodgers, at a game where Chef Ramsay tossed out the first pitch at the sparsely attended game.

In the final hour, after Will won a cook-off challenge giving him first pick for his final dinner service team, he inexplicably picked Tommy. Paul then picked Elise. When it was down to 2 remaining, Will picked the incompetent Krupa Patel, leaving Paul with Elise's arch enemy, Carrie Keep.

Will thought he'd sealed Paul's doom by sending Carrie to his team. But, it did not work out that way. Krupa ended up causing Will a world of hurt, while Elise, for once, worked well with others, including Carrie.

In the end, it was Paul's door that opened, giving him the win, with a $250 K salary at BLK Steak in New York City. I hope Paul lasts long enough to collect one year's worth of salary.

Dancing With The Stars Season 13 Premiere With Chaz Bono Doing Well

My impressions of the bloated 2 hour premiere of Season 13 of ABC's Dancing With The Stars?

Well, ABC has built a nice new big ballroom for its top-rated show.

Carson Kressley, so far, appears to be this season's amusing Kirstie Alley/Cloris Leachman combo. I suspect Carson will be dancing for many weeks.

David Arquette. Not a fan. But, he did well, if overly intense. I don't know if he is divorced from Courtney Cox, or what, but she was in the audience, being supportive, along with their kid.

I only fast forwarded through one of the "Stars." That being a pro sports guy I'd never heard of, Ron Artest. He seemed annoying to me. I liked his pro partner's name though, Peta Murgatroyd.

Mark Ballas wears on my nerves. His "Star" is a Reality TVer I'd never heard of, Kristin Cavallari. Kristin is cute. Mark is not cute. Mark flails around way too much with his routines, drawing attention to himself, rather than directing attention to his "Star."

I think fan pro favorite Maks' brother Val Chmerkovskiy's "Star" partner, Elisabetta Canalis, may be the first to get the boot. Near as I can tell Elisabetta's primary claim to stardom was being George Clooney's bedmate for a period of time. Val appeared to be trying real hard to be Mr. Personality, but he seems to lack his brother's likability factor.

Speaking of Val's brother, Maks lucked out in the "Star" department with an Olympic soccer player I'd never heard of before, named Hope Solo. Hope is very likable and seemed to adjust to doing the dancing well. This may be Maks' best shot to win the coveted mirror ball trophy yet.

Nancy Grace surprised me by being somewhat graceful. She's got a pro partner we'd not seen before. An Irish guy named Tristan MacManus. Tristan has a thick Irish accent. It was amusing when he confused Nancy by saying "turd" whilst meaning "third." Apparently "turd" is how "third" is pronounced in Ireland.

I knew nothing of J.R. Martinez. I was ready to hit the fast forward button, but then I watched, drawn in by his partner, one of my favorites, Karina Smirnoff. J.R. turned out to be quite remarkable. I suspect it will be awhile before he gets the boot. And he may end up being the mirror ball trophy winner.

Cheryl Burke appears to have slimmed down. She is also one of my favorite pros. She got stuck with Rob Kardashian. Rob was better than I thought he would be. Rob has been in the press saying he hoped doing the dancing would help him lose some of the 200 plus pounds he's put on his 5' 10" frame.

Chynna Phillips did well, according to the judges. But, I was bored by her. Chynna's pro partner, Tony Dovolani, nice guy, but not one of my favorites.

Derek Hough is back. Partnered with Ricki Lake. Ricki did surprisingly well. I think she could be the possible winner. It helps having multi-winner Derek as your partner.

That leaves only one "Star" remaining. My favorite of the night. Chaz Bono. Paired with Lacey Schwimmer. Chaz has put on weight since losing weight on Celebrity Fit Club. And yet Chaz was able to move that body of his. I was surprised at how at ease Chaz seemed when it came his turn to dance, at the end of the 2 hour show. That is a lot of anxious waiting. Chaz looked pretty much effortless and like he was having himself a real fine time.

Methinks it will be either Ron Artest, Elisabetta Canalis or Rob Kardashian who gets the boot from DWTS tonight.

Over on Survivor Sucks I thought natnyc911's overall thoughts were cogent....

Ron (Meta whatever stupidity he decided he wanted his name to be)... Awful. He may do a bit better in ballroom as compared to fast latin dances but that was so rough. It was as if Lurch was dancing.

Rob... Better than I expected but nothing at all to write home about. He actually looked like a little kid that was trying to do something correct that was taught to him. The footwork when it was supposed to be gliding was anything but.

Kristin... It was okay. A little awkward when she was without Mark and he continues to grate on my nerves, season after season. She could improve a whole lot though if she sticks around.

Chynna... Nice! Really elegant. I wasn't going nuts or anything but better than everyone who came before and she should be really proud of that. Kudos to Tony for finally (maybe) getting a partner to go deep in the competition with.

Nancy... Yep, better than expected for me. A tad awkward from time to time (I expected that) but no denying that she did not stink up the floor as many just assumed she would. And her personally was good tonight and for her, that's a major plus.

David... Whoa. Relax! It looked like he drank about 5 red bulls before going out there. At one point, he was running. But he is charming and the dancing was decent. He is another that will go really far because he will improve.

Elisabetta... This was a worse than I expected situation. As awkward as Kristin was alone, Elisabetta was worse. And Val is trying TOO hard to be like Maks but it doesn't work for him. They are in major trouble tomorrow night I think.

Hope... Good! Sure, she is masculine and stuff but that can worked out. Maks has another decent shot at the trophy this season. She reminds me of the Shawn Johnson in terms of needing to be more feminine and elegant but all the tools are there.

Carson... Fun! I laughed throughout. The dancing was pretty bad but I don't think he or anyone who is a fan of his cares at all about that. He could last as long as the fans keep him in for me because he brings the entertainment. Think of it like Cloris Leachman in that respect.

JR... Now, I watch All My Children (RIP this week by the way), so I am a bit biased toward him and any soap star that does this show. That being said, he is right up there with Chynna for best of the night. It was just a really good first routine.

Ricki... Go Ricki! I think out of everyone, I would give up time to vote for her as much as I did Kirstie last season. It was a really decent job and she looks like she cares a whole lot about trying each and every week.

Chaz... I might be alone on this but I thought the scoring was low on him. He didn't deserve 8's or anything but I thought he did better than a 17. Eh. I thought he did well and definitely another better than I expected dancer.