Tuesday, January 24, 2012

It's Official: If The Series Is Not Cancelled Due To Boring Ben Then Emily Maynard Is The Next Bachelorette

Ben Flajnik Doing a Nerd Imitation
I have heard it opined a time or two that much of the TV I watch is drivel. I prefer to characterize it as I am drawn to Train Wreck Bad Reality TV.

Likely the worst of the Train Wreck Bad Reality TV drivel that I watch is ABC's Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise.

The current edition, with boring Ben Flajnik being The Bachelor, is being particularly bad.

Ben's marriage proposal was rejected by previous Bachelorette Ashley. Ashley was as boring as Ben.

That is Ben Flajnik in the picture above. Ben seems to have a very limited vocabulary. He favors words like "amazing," "awesome" and "incredible' in various iterations. Sometimes all in one sentence, such as "You are so amazing, awesome and incredible."

It seems that the producers of The Bachelor cast for potential mates the same way Hell's Kitchen casts for cooks. The Bachelor seems to case about 20 psychotic nutcases, along with 3 or 4 women who might be suitable marriage material.

And then add a lot of alcohol to assure that the crazy gets unleashed.

Ben Trying to Scare a Girl to Death
Each iteration of this series now seems to include a stock figure, as in one boy or girl who is in it for all the wrong reasons, who treats it as a game show on which she, or he, is a contestant, with the Bachelor or Bachelorette the prize.

Currently this contestant is Courtney. I believe it is Courtney who talks Ben into going skinnydipping next week, in Puerto Rico, and after they are naked in the water tells him she is about to rock his world.

One thing I have noticed on this season of The Bachelor is when the girls go on a date with Ben they wear their bikinis under their outerwear.

Last week Ben took a group of girls skiing down a hill of manmade snow in San Francisco. Somehow the girls were prepared, with bikinis, when Ben ordered them to strip and ski.

This week Ben took the potential wives to Park City, Utah. There he had solo dates with a mousy blonde whose name I do not remember and a cute redhead named Jennifer.

Ben took Jennifer on yet one more of the sadistic try to scare a girl to death type dates. Was it last week Ben had Emily climb to the top of the Oakland Bay Bridge to terrify her? This week it was scared of heights Jennifer whom Ben made lower herself into a Utah crater, via a cable, with the cable snapping part way down, dropping the loving couple into a pool of water.

I forgot to mention, Jennifer came prepared to strip down to the always on bikini underwear.

Maybe it is just me, but if I ever went on a "date" with a person and they took me to climb up a bridge or climb into a hole I think I would quickly decide I am not interested in this nutjob.

But, it is not like Ben actually plans or executes these dates, even though that is the pretense. It's all part of the overly produced, overly scripted ridiculousness of this sometimes amusing example of Train Wreck TV.

Emily Maynard, the Next Bachelorette
And coming up.

If ABC does not cancel this franchise due to the big drop in ratings, "Emily Maynard will be looking for love on the next season of The Bachelorette.'

And you just know she won't find it.

Love that is.

Anymore than she did with Brad Womack.

Or he with her.

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