Monday, January 30, 2012

Bad Girl Courtney Skinny Dipping with Bachelor Ben Flajnik in Puerto Rico

Courtney & Ben Skinny Dipping in Puerto Rico
Tonight is the infamous episode of The Bachelor where the bad girl, villain, Courtney Robertson, to the upset of all his other potential wives, convinces Bachelor Ben to go skinny dipping with her so she can rock his world.

For some unfathomable to me, reason, for this skinny dipping scene, ABC is putting big black blocks over the location where Courtney and Ben's underwear was located, prior to removal.

This strikes me as the height, absolute height, of hypocrisy.

Are we protecting impressionable young minds with this particular censorship?

But we don't protect those same impressionable young minds from watching a couple dozen women overly imbibe in alcohol and behave badly?

The bevy of potential wives from which Ben can select his mate seem to be unusually profuse in the use of profanity. To protect those same impressionable young minds this profanity is bleeped out. But, it is fairly easy to tell what particular piece of profanity is being spewed.

We don't seem to be protecting impressionable young minds from seeing Ben serial kissing dozens of women. The volume of germs being exchanged is appalling.

The current iteration of The Bachelor has yet to crack the Top 20 in the Nielsen Ratings. Judging from what I read in TV Forums, on the Interwebs, there is widespread dislike for this particular bachelor. Complaints about him being boring and looking like the caveman in Geico commercials. I think it was Geico.

Below is a YouTube video, uncensored, of Courtney & Ben's Skinny Dipping Romp in Puerto Rico. The censored version is viewable tonight, January 30 on ABC at 8/7C. I don't know how long this uncensored video version will last before ABC asks YouTube to take it down........


On The Real Housewives of Atlanta Marlo Brings Bad-Mannered Crazy to Capetown South Africa

NeNe Trying To Calm Down Marlo
 Before She Slices Anyone
I really need an intervention to break me of my addiction to Train Wreck Reality TV.

The fact that, not only did I watch Sunday night's latest episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, I found myself laughing multiple times,which possibly should be cause for concern.

It has now become a staple of the various Bravo Real Housewive's series to have the girls take a trip to some exotic locale.

The pretense is always that it is one of the housewife's who instigates these trips, not the Bravo producers.

In the last season of The Real Housewives of New York it was Countess LuAnn, who I don't think could plan a shopping trip to Wal-Mart, who supposedly instigated and planned a trip for the New York girls to visit Morocco. Including LuAnn, supposedly, organizing a group camel ride to an elaborate tent in the desert.

With the Atlanta housewives it is Phaedra who instigates, and supposedly, plans, a trip to Africa.

Yet, even though this is Phaedra's trip, somehow NeNe brings along the troublemaker Marlo, with Phaedra having no say in the matter.

Obviously, due to the likely fact that Marlo was added to the trip by the Bravo producers to add drama potential.

Afterall, Marlo is a woman convicted of multiple felonies, including slicing up a woman with whom Marlo got in a bar fight.

It was a long flight from Atlanta to Capetown, South Africa.

Marlo and NeNe brought enough luggage to stock a Goodwill Store.

Upon arrival in their humongous luxury suites Marlo proceeded to act crazy with her demands of the suffering concierge.

NeNe was surprised that Capetown was modern. Like America. I guess she was expected grass huts.

The pretense is that this trip is Phaedra's. We do not seem to extend the pretense to Phaedra claiming to pay for it all. The luxury suites, the first class plane tickets, the yacht trip in the harbor, the upcoming safari.

With about 20 minutes to go in Sunday night's episode we saw clearly why the Bravo producers included Marlo.

After lecturing the housewives all day about proper etiquette, Marlo went totally off the Miss Manners farm when Cynthia instigated Marlo getting all upset over Sheree not inviting Marlo to a party, a party to which Sheree accepted an invitation prior to knowing Marlo would be along for the trip.

But, Miss Manners Marlo, who thinks nothing about crashing a trip uninvited, also thinks she should be included in going to a party to which she was not invited.

This led to what may be the weirdest screaming fight in Housewive's History. It was between the now totally ill-mannered Marlo, and Sheree.  Somehow Marlo not getting invited to a party quickly gave Marlo reason to make all sorts of insults regarding Sheree's financial state. Which had Sheree going on and on about Marlo sucking money from a 100 year old geezer.

The side comments, commenting on this fight, from Kandi, Sheree and NeNe, was what had me laughing. The details of which I no longer remember. Except for Kandi pointing out the irony of Miss Manners Marlo turning totally non-mannerly ghetto in a flash.

Eventually the screaming between Marlo and Sheree degrading down to this very strange thing where the two were making what sounded like bird noises at each other.

It is NeNe who is usually at the center, or the cause, of these type altercations. This time NeNe tried to stop the yelling. And actually made a comment along the line of if this is what I sound like when I argue, well this just sounds stupid.

Next week it looks like a turtle attacks the housewives when they are on safari. Maybe it was a rhinoceros.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

On Alcatraz Hurley is Obsessed with an Island Other than the LOST Island

Alcatraz Monday Nights at 9/8C on FOX
Prior to watching an episode, I knew absolutely nothing about the new FOX series, Alcatraz, other than the fact this was a new J.J. Abrams' Bad Robot Production, like LOST, and like LOST, had something to do with an island.

When I set my DVR to record Alcatraz I thought I was recording the premiere episode. Turns out that premiere occurred a week prior, with a pair of back to back one hour episodes.

I'm guessing had I watched those first two episodes, the episode I watched last night, it being the 3rd episode, would have been easier to understand.

From what I watched last night I am gleaning that Alcatraz is a sci-fi crime procedural. That back in the 1960s, when Alcatraz was closed, somehow a lot of inmates and some guards, got themselves into some sort of netherworld, from whence they somehow go back to the future where they take up committing the same type crimes that got them sent to Alcatraz.

An FBI agent, Emerson Hauser, played by Sam Neill, discovered that the prisoners had gone missing back in 1963. Realizing they the FBI had a big problem a brightly lit underground bunker was constructed. I don't know where this bunker is located. Under Alcatraz? Maybe?

Back in the future when one of the prisoners is captured, or killed, he is brought back to this underground bunker. The one and only episode I have watched ended with the FBI agent carrying in the body of the bad guy, over his shoulder, delivering him to an autopsy type doctor, who smoked a cigarette, while swaying to music, getting ready to do whatever it was he was going to do to the body. Bring it back to life? I don't know.

Safely off the LOST island, Hurley, he being Jorge Garcia in real life, plays Dr. Diego Soto, nicknamed "Doc." A comic book genius who knows more about Alcatraz than anyone in the world. Hurley solves the mystery of the Alcatraz bad guy's kidnapping of a little boy, somehow using some very arcane clues, like the bad guy likes cherry pie, to eventually rescue the little boy who had managed to escape from a LOST-like hatch, chased by the bad guy, who was shot and killed by the good FBI guy, right in the nick of time.

LOST like music often served as the soundtrack, which I thought odd. The mystery upon mystery element of Alcatraz is also very LOST-like.

I found Alcatraz held my attention for the hour. I'll give it another hour and see if it still holds my attention.

Monday nights at 9/8C on FOX.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Nielsen Rating's Top 20 TV Shows for January 16 - January 22

The Nielsen Rating's Top 20 TV Shows for January 16 - January 22. The first number is the ranking, the second number is the season average, then the show name and network. The last number represents the number of viewers in millions. An asterisk * indicates a tie.

American Idol returns for season 11 still at the top of the Nielsen Ratings.

RankShow name
Network
Viewers in millions
Season-to-date average(in millions)
1.NFC Champs: Giants/49ers
Fox
57.6
--
2.American Idol (Wed.)
Fox
21.9
21.9
3.American Idol (Thu.)
Fox
18.0
18.0
4.Big Bang Theory
CBS
15.8
15.4
5.Person of Interest
CBS
14.4
13.2
6.The Mentalist
CBS
14.2
14.0
7.Betty White: 90th Birthday
NBC
13.9
--
8.NCIS
CBS
13.2
20.3
9.Criminal Minds
CBS
13.0
13.7
*Two and a Half Men
CBS
13.0
17.6
11.Off Their Rockers
NBC
12.3
--
12.CSI
CBS
12.0
12.7
13.Modern Family
ABC
11.9
14.2
14.2 Broke Girls
CBS
11.4
13.0
*Rob
CBS
11.4
12.4
16.Mike & Molly
CBS
11.1
13.0
17.Hawaii Five
CBS
10.7
13.0
18.Alcatraz
Fox
10.1
10.1
*How I Met Your Mother
CBS
10.1
11.0
20.Castle
ABC
9.4
11.6
*Grey's Anatomy
ABC
9.4
12.1
*NCIS: Los Angeles
CBS
9.4
16.9

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

It's Official: If The Series Is Not Cancelled Due To Boring Ben Then Emily Maynard Is The Next Bachelorette

Ben Flajnik Doing a Nerd Imitation
I have heard it opined a time or two that much of the TV I watch is drivel. I prefer to characterize it as I am drawn to Train Wreck Bad Reality TV.

Likely the worst of the Train Wreck Bad Reality TV drivel that I watch is ABC's Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise.

The current edition, with boring Ben Flajnik being The Bachelor, is being particularly bad.

Ben's marriage proposal was rejected by previous Bachelorette Ashley. Ashley was as boring as Ben.

That is Ben Flajnik in the picture above. Ben seems to have a very limited vocabulary. He favors words like "amazing," "awesome" and "incredible' in various iterations. Sometimes all in one sentence, such as "You are so amazing, awesome and incredible."

It seems that the producers of The Bachelor cast for potential mates the same way Hell's Kitchen casts for cooks. The Bachelor seems to case about 20 psychotic nutcases, along with 3 or 4 women who might be suitable marriage material.

And then add a lot of alcohol to assure that the crazy gets unleashed.

Ben Trying to Scare a Girl to Death
Each iteration of this series now seems to include a stock figure, as in one boy or girl who is in it for all the wrong reasons, who treats it as a game show on which she, or he, is a contestant, with the Bachelor or Bachelorette the prize.

Currently this contestant is Courtney. I believe it is Courtney who talks Ben into going skinnydipping next week, in Puerto Rico, and after they are naked in the water tells him she is about to rock his world.

One thing I have noticed on this season of The Bachelor is when the girls go on a date with Ben they wear their bikinis under their outerwear.

Last week Ben took a group of girls skiing down a hill of manmade snow in San Francisco. Somehow the girls were prepared, with bikinis, when Ben ordered them to strip and ski.

This week Ben took the potential wives to Park City, Utah. There he had solo dates with a mousy blonde whose name I do not remember and a cute redhead named Jennifer.

Ben took Jennifer on yet one more of the sadistic try to scare a girl to death type dates. Was it last week Ben had Emily climb to the top of the Oakland Bay Bridge to terrify her? This week it was scared of heights Jennifer whom Ben made lower herself into a Utah crater, via a cable, with the cable snapping part way down, dropping the loving couple into a pool of water.

I forgot to mention, Jennifer came prepared to strip down to the always on bikini underwear.

Maybe it is just me, but if I ever went on a "date" with a person and they took me to climb up a bridge or climb into a hole I think I would quickly decide I am not interested in this nutjob.

But, it is not like Ben actually plans or executes these dates, even though that is the pretense. It's all part of the overly produced, overly scripted ridiculousness of this sometimes amusing example of Train Wreck TV.

Emily Maynard, the Next Bachelorette
And coming up.

If ABC does not cancel this franchise due to the big drop in ratings, "Emily Maynard will be looking for love on the next season of The Bachelorette.'

And you just know she won't find it.

Love that is.

Anymore than she did with Brad Womack.

Or he with her.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Lisa's SUR Opening on The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Was Disturbing

This week's next to last, season 2 episode, of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was an odd one.

Real odd.

Very contrived. Almost like it was scripted.

I thought the episode would start off with the girls still in Hawaii obsessing over Kim. Instead the episode began on the mainland.

Mainly focused on the opening of Lisa's SUR restaurant add-on.

Did I make it up in a bad dream last night, or did I actually see on this episode that SUR stands for Sexy Upscale Restaurant?

Lisa's staged SUR opening had so many drama elements piled up it was ridiculous.

There was an ex-girl friend of Adrienne's husband Paul. Not much drama came of that.

Then there was a waitress who Brandi learned had an affair with her ex, Eddie Cibrian, while Brandi was in the hospital birthing a baby. When Lisa learned that one of her waitresses had done Brandi wrong, Lisa sent the waitress home for the night. Not much drama came of that either.

Brandi seems so level-headed and funny. Eddie Cibrian must be a moron.

And then there was Adrienne's personal chef, Bernie, who shows up and is greeted by Lisa who then tells an assistant she doesn't know who that was. And then speculates that it might be Adrienne's cook. Bernie does not like Lisa, always referring to her as that "British lady across the street." Bernie did not provide any drama.

And then there was the uninvited arrival of Cedric, the Houseguest from Hell. Finally some of the scripting delivers some drama. Several were shocked to see Cedric there. Lisa asked Cedric to leave. Cedric did not seem to understand why Lisa would want him to leave.

Methinks the Bravo producers told Cedric they'd give him a thousand bucks if he showed up to make for some drama.

And then there was Taylor.

Taylor Armstrong.

Which is not her real name. A weird looking Oklahoma con-woman who, I think, drove her husband, Russell. to suicide.

Taylor shows up at Lisa's opening of SUR with her extremely creepy, likely ethics violating, supposed therapist. The therapist is all simplistic smarm, which Taylor pretends is helping her.

Arriving at Lisa's SUR opening, a night which should have been all about Lisa and  her opening, Taylor insists all the housewives gather together so Taylor can once again ruin a party with her personal pity party.

All the housewives pretended to care, except for Kim who locked herself in what must have been SUR's only bathroom, because soon there was a line wanting to use the facilities. Kim's gay Bull Mastiff boy friend, Ken, tried to get Kim out of the bathroom, to no avail.

Finally, after what seemed a couple of hours Kim emerged from the bathroom, acting happy like a crazed loony bird. Because that is what she is.

The scene of Kim telling her sister Kyle about her litany of woes with the gay Bull Mastiff boyfriend, including being 3 months late with ovulating, well, it was just too much.

How can Kim still be ovulating? Kim appears to be at least 60. Is that not well past the period when periods arrive and well into the age of menopause?

I think Kim's gay Bull Mastiff boyfriend, Ken, is a saint to put up with that nutcase. Just watching Kim get ready to go to Lisa's SUR opening was bizarre. Hauling so much stuff to a one night stay in a hotel? And then throwing it all over the place, on the floor?

What drugs is Kim on and why does she have such a problem keeping track of her stash, I watched and wondered?

And another thing. Is California Child Protective Services looking into removing Taylor's daughter, Kennedy, from Taylor's care?

NeNe Leakes Playing Synchronized Swim Coach Roz Washington on GLEE

Screen Cap of NeNe as Roz Washington on GLEE
A couple weeks ago when I learned that The Real Housewives of Atlanta's NeNe Leakes was going to be on GLEE, playing a swim coach, I thought it was just the work of some trouble causing troll trying to cause trouble on an Internet forum, making up something so ridiculous.

But, last night I saw and heard it with my own eyes and ears.

NeNe is on GLEE.

Not only was NeNe on GLEE, NeNe was quite good on GLEE. Very funny. Playing swim coach, Roz Washington.

NeNe's big scene was her reading the riot act to Sam Evans, newly on the William McKinley High Synchronized Swim Team, in his attempt to win a letter jacket so he can re-win the heart of Mercedes. I really don't understand a lot of the GLEE plot lines.

Anyway, NeNe, I mean, Roz Washington, berated Sam Evans (pasty white Chord Overstreet in real life) about having the biggest lips she's ever seen on a white boy. And crooked nipples. And empathized with Sam about how hard it must be to go through life with crooked nipples.

I have no idea what crooked nipples are.

Roz launched into having a dream. Very appropriate for the day after Martin Luther King Day. Roz insisted that Sam know she'd won the bronze medal for Individual Synchronized Swimming at the Beijing Olympics.

I can not picture NeNe in a swimming suit. I'm almost 100% we have not seen that on The Real Housewives of Atlanta.

It may be amusing to watch and hear Roz Washington tangle with Sue Sylvester, a character who's character the writers of GLEE seem to alter with every episode.

If the NeNe we have come to know on The Real Housewives of Atlanta shows up on the GLEE set, NeNe's acting career will be short lived. I don't think a violent temper tantrum with strangling moves will go over well on the GLEE set. NeNe's is bigger than anyone on GLEE, I think. The cast will be terrified if NeNe goes into her Godzilla mode.

Nielsen Rating's Top 20 TVShows for January 9 - January 15

The Nielsen Rating's Top 20 TV Shows for January 9 - January 15. The first number is the ranking, the second number is the season average, then the show name and network. The last number represents the number of viewers in millions. An asterisk * indicates a tie.

RankShow name
Network
Viewers in millions
Season-to-date average(in millions)
1.AFC Playoffs: Broncos/Patriots
CBS
34.2
--
2.NCIS
CBS
21.0
20.5
3.Golden Globe Awards
NBC
16.9
--
4.NCIS: Los Angeles
CBS
16.6
17.2
5.Big Bang Theory
CBS
16.1
15.4
6.Person of Interest
CBS
14.9
13.1
7.The Mentalist
CBS
13.6
14.0
8.Rob
CBS
13.5
13.5
9.Blue Bloods
CBS
12.1
12.1
*Modern Family
ABC
12.1
14.0
11.Undercover Boss
CBS
11.6
11.6
12.Simpsons
Fox
11.5
8.0
13.Unforgettable
CBS
11.2
13.1
14.Grey's Anatomy
ABC
10.7
12.0
15.CSI: NY
CBS
10.6
10.7
16.NFC Playoffs: 49ers/Saints
Fox
10.1
--
17.Castle
ABC
9.8
11.8
*Once Upon A Time
ABC
9.8
11.9
19.The Good Wife
CBS
9.4
11.9
*The Middle
ABC
9.4
9.4