Thursday, February 9, 2012

Real Housewife of Beverly Hills Adrienne Maloof Is Saving Her Failing Financial Empire With Hooker Shoes

The disturbing behavior of the lying grifter whose most recent name is Taylor Armstrong, was not the only disturbing behavior that perplexed viewers on the 2nd season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Adrienne Maloof's fall from grace, morphing into a humorless, hypersensitive shrew, has also been perplexing.

In season one we were led to believe that Adrienne Maloof was a fabulously wealthy Beverly Hills dweller, with part of her fortune enhanced by her supposedly very successful plastic surgeon husband, Paul Nassif.

I thought it odd that this season we saw so many iterations of the shilling Paul's plastic surgery practice, in various forms.

But, the plastic surgery shilling was nothing compared to the spectacle of seeing Adrienne desperately hawking her, supposedly, self-designed line of what appear, to me, to be hooker shoes.

Shoes of the sort I have only seen in real life whilst driving the Hooker Alley in Dallas, Texas, known as Harry Hines Boulevard.


It turns out the Maloof Empire is actually in a lot of financial trouble. The Maloofs have lost their lucrative beer distributorship, which, I believe, is what their papa based the family fortune on.

The Maloofs have lost financial control of their Palms Casino Resort in Las Vegas, the place about which Adrienne nagged Lisa relentlessly because Lisa's daughter, Pandora, did not send some Bachelorette party business to the Palms.

Apparently the Maloofs have had to borrow money from the NBA to keep their Sacremento Kings franchise alive. And the Maloofs do not have the funds to contribute their part to the proposed new downtown Sacramento arena for the Kings.

In other words, the Maloof Empire is in shambles. Bordering on broke.

And so, to make a few bucks, Adrienne has turned into a shoe salesman, selling her hoofware in malls across America.

And on her own website.

Yes, you can go to Adrienne Maloof's online store and purchase your very own Maloof Hoof Hooker Ware.

The prices seem quite reasonable. For less than $300 you can have your own Adrienne Maloof designed pair of Hooker Shoes.

I must add that each shoe comes adorned with a diamond encrusted into the heel, which the wearer can view, if she wears the shoes to bed and has a mirror on the ceiling.

I am ordering the Veronica Platform for my favorite hooker girlfriend.

That is not my favorite hooker girlfriend, laying prostrate in the photo below.

That is Adrienne Maloof on the home page of her website, I assume laying down, with a hand to her forehead, to represent exasperation at the current state of her financial affairs. This is a very flattering photo of Adrienne....


CatsPaw said...

I'd be laying down from the effort of trying to walk in any of those contraptions. Or in traction.

Adrienne says in the opening "It's easy to have it all if you're willing to work for it." To which, each time I endure it, I cough "Bull****!"

Obviously, Adrienne has slacked off. Even with a start in life on third base, those shoes have to be wearing her ass out. That, and too much lying down on the job.

Durango TV said...

CatsPaw, have you ever seen a woman in real life wearing ridiculous shows like the Maloof Hoofs? I've not? Have we actually ever seen Adrienne actually working at anything? I don't think so. The woman can barely put peanut butter on a slice of bread. And can't cook a chicken. Or wash it properly.

CatsPaw said...

No one that I associate with clomps around in anything like those things, that's for sure. No need to cook a chicken; she's got snarky Bernie for that.

She also has trouble stringing a coherent sentence together (though with her I don't blame it on drugs like I do with Kim) AND she's a total jerk to Paul, whom I find quite likeable. She really comes off rather dumb.

The first season, she seemed to get a good edit and/or maybe she just minded her own business better. This season, I find her hard to like and highly mockworthy.