Thursday, April 1, 2010

The Real Housewives of New York City: Jill Zarin's Mad Bad Mother Gloria

I did not get around to watching the latest episode of the new season of Bravo's The Real Housewives of New York City til last night. And now tonight, Thursday, a fresh episode runs.

The NYC girls are being quite entertaining this time around. Their various behaviors have caused me, and others, to change who we like and who we can't stand.

Jill Zarin has fallen deeply into the I can't stand her side. Jill's self-absorption level must be some sort of diagnosed mental illness. So much ME ME ME packed into such a little package.

This episode we learned how Jill became such a twisted piece of work. We got our longest looked at Jill's artificially preserved mother, Gloria. Just like Jill, Gloria is an overbearing know-it-all busybody with no credentials. I don't think Gloria can speak in anything but cliches.

The photo shoot was very revealing, for the book, that Jill, Gloria and sister Lisa co-wrote, that you know won't sell, but which Jill is counting on to make enough money, so she can buy a private plane, so she can use the giant shoe trunk she showed off this episode. Before the photo shoot Jill said she wanted to give her mom and sister a movie star experience. Jill made mention a couple times that she'd brought in her stylist and makeup artist.

Well, Gloria did nothing but bitch and make that plastic, well-preserved face of hers into a sour puss. Mother is not happy, she said time and again. Bitching about Jill being dressed too sexy, inappropriate. If this were my mama, mama would not be seeing me too often. Gloria giving advice, when she desperately needs some, is pretty funny.

This episode was mostly about going to fashion shows, so that we could have some good fighting. There was some good cat fighting at one show between LuAnn and Bethenny, where LuAnn thought Bethenny called her a skank, when the actual word was snake. I have trouble understanding what gets these women so wound up. It all seems extremely trivial to me.

I've come to like Alex McCord. First season I thought she was horrible. Now she is the sane one. But she had a strange confrontation with Jill over some remarks made about one of Alex's kids climbing up some stranger's leg. Jill blamed LuAnn. Alex started crying. LuAnn accepted the blame. I was confused. As was Alex.

Jill had some pretentious dinner thing at Saks 5th Avenue, inviting everyone, but Bethenny. Ramona got drunk, had a funny confrontation with LuAnn about Alex and Simon, then threw Jill under the bus, telling LuAnn that Jill's been telling people about LuAnn's assignations with young men. Later Ramona's mood swung back to being nice and she tried to comfort LuAnn after Ramona was the latest person to be told, by LuAnn, that LuAnn's divorce was final.

After that, Ramona turned her attention to Kelly's breasts. Asking if they'd been redone for the Playboy shoot. Kelly was not pleased. But, Ramona had a point. If you're gonna be showing your boobies to the world they are pretty much fair game.

Before the Boob Incident, Kelly had confronted Ramona at another fashion show about Ramona not inviting Kelly to her Labor Day party. Eventually that ended with Kelly inviting Ramona to a Perez Hilton new website launch party. Why anyone would want to be in the same room as Perez Hilton is a mystery to me.

This was confirmed when Perez greeted Jill by pulling on her top trying to get a look at her breasts, while Perez was wearing a skirt and letting it be known he was wearing underwear.

I am actually finding myself liking Kelly. I did not think this possible. She says the dumbest things, you can't help but find her amusing. Like she is all flattered that people, apparently, want to see what her 41 year old body looks like with no clothes on. Kelly had an emotional crisis over Bethenny's insistence that Kelly try one teeny sip of a Skinny Girl Margarita. Bethenny said some obvious joke about prozac, Kelly took it literal. Kelly is not too quick on the uptake, hence the funny confusions. And malapropisms.

Anyway, apparently, tonight, according to the NYC Housewives' blogs on their Bravo website, we are in store for some epic fighting.

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