Tuesday, July 12, 2011

The Bachelorette Ashley Sends Ryan Home In Tears & Give No Rose to Lucas

I don't quite know why Ryan's eyes were zoomed in on last night on The Bachelorette. On a big screen it was unsettling.

Moments before his extreme closeup, Ashley had dumped Ryan, with Ryan then trying to explain how devastated he was to find his search for a wife so brutally thwarted. Unable to speak, Ryan hid behind some bushes, with the camera still on him.

Emerging from the bushes the camera zoomed in for the close up, then pulled back while Ryan poured out his aching heart.

Ashley sent Ryan away soon after he spent a half hour or so explaining the virtues of tankless hot water heaters. It seemed so heartless of Ashley. Could she not have escorted him back to the bachelor pad? Instead Ryan had to wander the streets of Taipei searching for a cab.

Last night we were down to only 6 potential husbands remaining. So I can finally remember their names. Ben, Constantine, Lucas, Ames, JP and Ryan.

Ben and Constantine look related, but I can tell one from the other due to one having goofier hair than the other.

It was no big shock that Lucas did not make it past the Sacred Rose Ceremony. Lucas seemed to take the rejection well.

All the boys seemed well versed in Bachelor/Bachelorette lore, with each waxing on about the importance of the "Hometowns." It also seems to be shortened to "Hometowns" rather than "Hometown Dates."

After the "Hometown" Rituals and the rejection of yet one more of the potential husbands, it is then on to the Fantasy Suites where Ashley invites her potential husband to spend the night so she can thoroughly test his husbandly performance abilities.

I found the Group Date with JP, Lucas and Ames shooting wedding photos with Ashley to be very lame.

JP pouting before the Group Date because Ben had not made it back yet from what turned out to be an all night date with Ashley, was amusing. And maybe a little disturbing. JP may have some serious issues. But, I guess JP had reason to wonder if maybe Ben was getting a jump start on the Fantasy Suite action. How will JP handle sharing Ashley with the other boys in the Fantasy Suites?

I think it was Constantine who took the steam train from Taipei to a little village where he and Ashley made a luminaria which later a dog lifted his leg on to relieve himself, in the most amusing moment of the night. The luminarias rising in the night sky was pretty cool.

Also cool was the park that Ben took Ashley riding in, on a mo-ped.

Ben & Constantine's one on one dates seemed a lot more fun than Ryan's one and only, one on one date. Ashley and Ryan walked through some religious shrine, with Ashley in short hot pants, which seemed inappropriate. The two would-be lovers did some sort of ritual that involved dropping a rock on the ground that turned out to be a foreshadow of their doomed last date.

Ryan seemed to have absolutely no game, conversation-wise. Oh look at that big koi. Look, there's a bird. There is water behind us. I can't wait for you to meet my parents. This is amazing. You're amazing. I feel amazing.

One thing that actually was amazing was Taiwan and its capital city of Taipei. I want to visit. But not with Ashley. Or Ryan.

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