Dancing With The Stars: Jewel & O'Dell Out, Jilted Melissa In

One week after some of us with nothing better to do watched the now almost universally reviled Jason Mesnick dump Melissa Rycroft due to a chemistry imbalance, Melissa returns to our screens tonight on the ABC show taking the slot formerly taken by the show that broke Melissa's fragile heart, that being The Bachelor, with Melissa taking the Dancing With The Stars slot formerly taken by Nancy O'Dell.

Both singer Jewel and TV host Nancy O'Dell were injured to a degree serious enough to make them stop dancing. E! Online is claiming Holly Madison of E's Girls Next Door will replace Jewel.

Jewel's husband, Ty Murray, a professional rodeo worker, who I've never heard of, will continue to dance with a new professional dancer named Chelsie Hightower.

I've not heard of most of the "Stars" in this edition. Julianne Hough, she being the pro dancer who has won a couple times, is dancing with her boyfriend, Chuck Wicks, he being a country singer I've never heard of.

I know who the Go-Go, Belinda Carlisle is. She dances with Jonathan Roberts. I last saw Apple Billionaire Steve Wozniak on Kathy Griffin's My Life on the D-List show. I don't know if he'll be amusing enough to cause me to watch.

I like Cheryl Burke. This time she is dancing with another one unknown to me, he being Gilles Marini. Marini's claim to "Star" fame comes from the Sex and the City movie where he was seen acting with no clothes on.

Lacey Schwimmer is dancing with Steve-O. I have seen Steve-O before. He does stupid stuff on MTV.

Denise Richards is dancing with Maksim Chmerkovskiy. I have seen this Richards girl in a thing or two. She won the honor of being voted the "Worst Bond Girl of All Time."

Shawn Johnson is dancing with Mark Ballas. Johnson won an Olympic gold medal. I did not watch the Olympics, so she is unknown to me.

Julianne Hough's brother, Derek, is dancing with someone named Lil' Kim. She is a rapper and ex-con. I've heard the name before, that's about the extent of Lil' Kim's "Star" power for me.

The requisite pro sports slot this time is taken by a 50 year old NFL player named Lawrence Taylor.

Another of the few who I am familiar with is David Alan Grier. He's a comedian who is dancing with Kym Johnson.

It seems like a pretty weak list of "Stars" this time. None of them would seem to have Cloris Leachman amusement potential. Maybe Steve Wozniak will fill that role.