The So-Called Stars On The New Season Of Dancing With The Stars Includes The Bachelor's Jake

During tonight's The Bachelor finale, with the Gold going to Vienna, Tom Bergeron and that girl who lost her medal after winning the Gold on The Bachelor, Melissa Rycroft, kept showing up in promos saying the cast for the new season of Dancing With The Stars would be revealed after subjecting yourself to 2 hours of The Bachelor.

Is the little, perky cutie who Jason Mesnick treated so badly the replacement for Samantha Harris? Good choice, I'd say. Rycroft seems to have her wits about her, where Harris always seemed witless.

Okay, I'm sure you are just waiting for me to tell you who is dancing this time. Well, here's the deal, many of them I've never heard of. I'll tell you the ones I do remember because I'd heard of them.

80 year old man on the moon, Buzz Aldrin will be dancing.

So is that annoying girl from Beverly Hills 90120, Shannon Doherty.

A supposedly bad boy NFL player who I'd never heard of will display his gracefulness.

Pamela Anderson, the pin-up girl, Baywatch Babe, home movie making, boob size fluctuating, blonde former hottie will be sure to provide some some moving entertainment.

That notorious Reality TV star from a TLC show I've never watched, who had way too many kids and a philandering husband, Kate Gosselin, somehow found the time do dance.

Olympic skater, Evan Lysacek will likely enjoy his sequined dancing costumes.

Okay, those are the ones I've heard of. The remaining dancers names are (I just Googled it) the football player is someone named Chad Ochocinco, actor Aiden Turner, Sportscaster Erin Andrews, Comedian Niecy Nash and Singer Nicole Scherzinger.

Buzz Aldrin should be interesting. He's the only one in the group who can truthfully claim he has done the moonwalk.

Oh, I forgot, one more dancer, to bring the total to 12, is yet to be revealed. The suspense is killing me. I hope they are bringing back Cloris Leachman for another round.

UPDATE: I thought someone was just making a lame joke the first time I read it, but apparently The Bachelor, Jake Pavelka, is the 12th "star" on the new Dancing With The Stars. I have seen enough of that boy. Are any of the professional dancers short enough to dance with him?