Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Dancing With The Stars Along With Sean & Catherine's Million Dollar TV Wedding

Last night, on the season finale of The Bachelor, America and the rest of the world learned that my Dallas neighbor, Sean Lowe, had been directed by God to choose a wife candidate from my old hometown of Seattle to get the Final Sacred Rose, a ring and a marriage proposal.

The name of the recipient of the Final Sacred Rose is Catherine. Catherine seems like a nice girl. Sean seem like a nice boy.

They barely know each other but they are deeply in love and want to spend the rest of their lives together. And they are each other's best friend.

Even though they barely know each other.

I think, maybe, once Sean gets to know Catherine better he may find her to be a bit boring. And odd. I fast forward through a lot of The Bachelor, but watch all of the drunken cocktail parties.

At one point at a drunken cocktail party Catherine told Sean she decided she wanted to get married and have a litter of babies after an experience at camp when she was 12 where she saw a tree fall on and kill a fellow campmate.

At another drunken cocktail party Catherine told Sean a strange story about her dad. I think it ended with dad abandoning his family and moving to China. Or maybe it was the Philippines.

During the After The Final Sacred Rose show Sean announced that the wedding will happen as soon as possible. Just as soon as the details can be worked out for the televised wedding.

That's right. ABC is going to turn this wedding into a TV Special. I think ABC did that for at least one of the other one or two Bachelor/Bachelorette couplings that actually made it to the alter.

Just a few minutes ago I was standing in a grocery store line and saw a story headline on one of the tabloids that said something like "Sean & Catherine's Million Dollar TV Wedding."

I thought it was a joke when I read this morning on Survivor Sucks that Sean will be dancing with Peta Murgatroyd on the Season 16 premiere of Dancing With The Stars, next Monday, March 18.

The last Bachelor to dance on DWTS, I think, was the notorious Jake Pavelka.

I don't remember when it was that America and the rest of the world figured out that Jake was not the nice guy we'd met whilst he was doing his wife hunting. Was it on DWTS we learned that Pavelka suffers from an extreme case of Little Man Syndrome?

Am I remembering right? Was there some sort of TV special hosted by Chris Harrison in which Vienna Girardi told tales about how abusive Pavelka was, with Pavelka losing his temper on the air, and Vienna storming off the set?

Will Sean Lowe unravel before us ala Jake Pavelka? I am fairly certain Sean does not suffer from Little Man Syndrome. He appears to be a rather big guy.

Supposedly Sean Lowe has some sort of custom furniture factory in Dallas. The business must run itself. Sean spent months on The Bachelorette, then more months on The Bachelor. And now I'm sure he'll make it to the finals of Dancing With The Stars.

And then there's that televised wedding.

How much does one get paid to be The Bachelor?

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