The Real Housewives of New York City Season 5 Premiere Free of Jill Zarin

Season 4 of The Real Housewives of New York City started off with Jill Zarin being obnoxious, which she continued to be, all season long, til, mercifully, Bravo gave Jill, Kelly Bensimon and Cindy Barshop the boot.

Bravo also gave Alex McCord the boot. I think that was a mistake.

Last night we met the new housewives, Heather Thomson, a  girdle type wear designer who talks a lot, Carole Radziwill, an author who talks smart and Aviva Drescher, who also talks smart and is a one-legged mother of 4 with a history with Sonja.

I did not take an instant dislike to any of the new housewives, unlike when Kelly Bensimon showed up, or, even worse, Cindy Barshop.

I have learned, via Phaedra Parks and Brandi Glanville, that a new housewife can quickly become a favorite.

Countess LuAnn seems to be working hard to make the new housewives her new Gang of Four in her ongoing Hatfields & McCoys vendetta against Ramona. I don't think this is going to work out. I don't think LuAnn will be able to recruit Carole Radziwill.

Carole Radziwill is very amusing and very articulate on her Bravo Blog.

On Heather's Bravo Blog it is like she did not watch the episode before she wrote the blog. On the blog she's still going on about Mario's supposed rudeness. Did Heather not notice that she did constantly interrupt and sort of misread the interchanges, that she then snarkily commented on in her confessionals?

The previews for the rest of Season 5 look like we are in for some major catfighting, with the new girl's pledge to each other not to be mean girls, thrown out the window.

I wonder if Jill Zarin watched last night? Kelly Bensimon has likely forgotten she was ever on this show.

Is Bravo Going to Do the Right Thing & Remove Cindy, Kelly & Jill from The Real Housewives of New York City?

The Real Housewives of New York City Reunion shot video for 9 exhausting hours. The majority of the footage shot did not make it to the 2 part, 3 hour Reunion Show.

One of those moments we did not see on the Reunion Show was Alex collapsing in relief, I assume, that the nightmare of dealing with the 4 Shrieking Monkeys known as the Gang of Brunettes, also known as Cindy Barshop, Krazy Kelly Bensimon, Jealous Jill Zarin and Classless Countess LouAnn, was over.

Of the Gang of Brunette housewives only one is an actual wife, that being Jill Zarin.

The male population of the planet is not big enough to find a mate for the sourpuss Barshop woman, so she had to couple with a turkey baster in order to become a mother.

I do not know if the reason Alex fainted on the couch was because Jill Zarin heartfeltedly apologized for being such a mean-spirited, bullying, heartless bitch to her, followed by the hug we see in the picture.

The Interwebs are full or rumors that a major shakeup is in the works for the Real Housewives of New York City. Andy Cohen made it real clear on Facebook and Twitter that he has heard, loud and clear, the viewer's disgust with the low-level of discourse on display by Cindy, Jill, Kelly and to a lesser degree, LouAnn.

Neil Patrick Harris told Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens Live to dump the entire cast. That seems a bit drastic to me. The consensus on the Interwebs seems to be that definitely Cindy, Jill and Kelly need to go.

And that Kelly is definitely intellectually challenged. And mentally ill. I know I was very surprised that Bravo brought Kelly back after the entire St. John's mental meltdown spectacle. It seemed as if Bravo was exploiting mental illness for its entertainment value. Trouble is, viewer's do not find Kelly's mental illness entertaining, they find it troubling.

Supposedly filming for the 5th season of RHONY is to begin Labor Day weekend. Methinks somehow Bethenny Frankel, now that she actually is a New York housewife, needs to come back, combined with Ramona, Sonja and Alex, plus a couple other real housewives, who pass a psych test, and I think this failing Housewife franchise might recover its formerly high viewer numbers.

But, if Bravo brings back Cindy, Kelly and Jill, the viewers will indicate they have had enough. By not watching. I know I want to see, or hear, no more of those three.

I think it is Jill who soured the franchise. Last season with her insane vendetta against Bethenny. This season it was Alex and Ramona who Jill targeted.

Simply put, Jill is creepy. A very creepy mean girl consumed by jealousy. Think about who Jill really is. She is married to a shopkeeper. Jill does not own her own business, or have a job. Her husband, Bobby, may be a nice guy, but he seems clueless as to what an Uber Bitch he is married to. Defending her on St. Johns, talking to Simon about his non-existent mean Tweeting.

Meanwhile, Ramona is married to Mario. Mario is a good looking guy. Combining Mario's DNA with Ramona got them Avery. Combining Jill's DNA with Bobby got them Ally. Ramona has 5 businesses. She is a successful, talented woman. And much better looking than Jill.

Ramona can rock a bikini. Jill can not. Ramona is older than Jill. Yet in much better shape. Ramona is more popular with viewers than Jill. Which is yet one more thing Jill is jealous about. In her core Ramona is a nice person. In her core Jill is a bitter shrew.

Jill is also jealous of Alex. Alex is also better looking than Jill. And younger. And happily married. And talented. With a job, or two. In her core, Alex is a nice person. Very articulate. And sensitive. And, unlike Jill, not a bitch.

Jill Zarin is also very sensitive, but only as it pertains to her own hypersensitive feelings. Jill Zarin seems unable to empathize with others in a real way that involves being sensitive to the feelings of others.

Jill is consumed anger over how much the viewers have come to despise her once they figured out what a horrible human she is.

Some of the stunts Jill Zarin has pulled have been astonishing. Jill penned a bad advice book with her equally vile mother, Gloria, and her sister. The book tanked, sales-wise. Jill then made fake positive reviews on Amazon, using a fake name, Susann Saunders. Jill is so sloppy these comments were traced back to her computer's IP address.

Jill later had her hapless husband buy thousands of copies of her book so as to make it look like the anemic sales figures were not anemic sales figures. Meanwhile Bethenny had several best sellers, fueling Jill's seething jealousy.

To counter all the accurate comments on Jill's Facebook fan page, Twitter and who knows where else, Jill somehow hired minions to delete accurate comments from Facebook and post false positive comments.

On Jill's Bravo Blog there are two types of comments. Those that seem real, on target and legitimate and those that seem like they come from a boilerplate template, all with a "We love you Jill" theme.

No one in their right mind could possibly love Jill Zarin, reprehensible mean bullying lying rat that she is.

If Andy Cohen and Bravo want to have a large number of viewers for the opening of Season 5 of RHONY, let it be known that the firing of Jill, Kelly and Cindy will be shown.

If Andy Cohen and Bravo want their New York City Housewive franchise to totally tank, bring back Cindy, Kelly and Jill, for one more round of disgusting the viewers.

If Andy Cohen really heard loud and clear what the viewers where saying, what he heard.

Loud and Clear.

Was.

Get rid of Cindy, Kelly and Jill.

Thank you. I feel better now.

The Real Housewives of New York City Grows Insufferable Along With Countess LuAnn's Chic, C'est La Vie Video

Of the Bravo Housewive franchises, the New York City girls used to be my favorite. Til this latest season.

I'm not sure what all has gone all wrong. The loss of Bethenny? Adding Cindy Barshop? Keep crazy Kelly Bensimon? The insufferable hypocrisy of LuAnn, Jill and Kelly? Combo of all?

The fact that Countess LuAnn is totally tone deaf became totally clear last week when she sang a horrible song horribly to Jill, at Jill's birthday party.

Previews of new week's lame drama seemed largely to revolve around the fact that only Kelly and Jill showed up to be in LuAnn's video for her Chic, C'est La Vi song. LuAnn had invited all the girls.

After seeing the video methinks Ramona, Alex, Sonja and Cindy made a smart choice.

There were several things on the latest episode of The Real Housewives of New York City that are examples of what's gone badly, sadly wrong.

One was watching Cindy try and handle one of her twins in a restaurant with her parents. Cindy seems to be totally devoid of any mothering instincts. It was as if she had never held her own kid before. Cindy had to call an employee to come take care of the baby. That was pathetic.

Cindy's bizarre Vajazzle Party, or whatever it was called, was totally creepy bizarre. A product launch party for a home hair removal kit, with people at the party having the product demonstrated on them. Including Simon.

I don't remember if it was at the Vajazzle Party or the Ramona/Sonja birthday party where Simon's simple request to Jill to have a private meeting soon had crazy Kelly and busybody LuAnn turning Simon into evil dastardly Simon the cyber bully mean tweeter.

Jill and Kelly are the meanest bullies on the show. And the biggest hypocrites. I don't think we have ever seen Simon being even remotely mean or bullying.

Then there was crazy Kelly's breakfast meeting with Alex. Kelly, this season, has mostly been able to keep under wraps the insanity we saw her display last year on Scary Island.

This meeting with Alex was very reminiscent of that meeting with Bethenny, when Kelly was the new girl on the show, where we learned that Kelly was up here, while Bethenny was down there and we also learned that Kelly was mentally ill.

Watching Alex try to have a sane conversation with insane Kelly was both painful to watch and strangely entertaining.

Also painful to watch and strangely entertaining is Countess LuAnn's Chic, C'est La Vie Video, which you can subject yourself to below...

The Real Housewives Of New York City Was Boring Again This Week Til Sonja Forgot Her Underwear

The last episode of The Real Housewives of New York City started off so boring I was thinking it was maybe time to bail.

But, then I remembered this was going to be the episode where Sonja's derriere gets exposed.

Again.

The boring stuff before Sonja's unfortunate exposure included a long look at Cindy's abode. And the kid's she bred by in vitro fertilization.

The guy who provided the material that was used to do the fertilizing showed up. Cindy's brother does not like the guy.

The sperm donor seemed sort of creepy to me. And then Cindy tells us that they had been an off and on again couple. And that they were on at the time she got pregnant, and then off two months later.

So, why were they using the in vitro method to make a baby and not the old-fashioned way?

Did Jill come to visit Cindy? I think I remember some Jill comments about nannies and the house being a mess.

For some reason Cindy asked Jill to go to the dentist with her. That seemed weird. And then Jill made it even weirder when she started acting like a co-dentist. Jill informed us that she and her mother and sister have the gift of having doctor's skills with no license.

Jill has really made it clear she has no clue why the fans have turned on her. Bad Jill was on display this episode.

And then we kept cutting to Sonja's, where she was fussing over her costume for her Masquerade party. That was all so totally boring. Except for the strange part where Sonja explains that she has friends who will call her from Europe, asking if someone could stay with her. We learned this when she explained who the houseboy was she was ordering to make her tea.

Something is very wrong with Sonja this year.

Sonja's Masquerade party was held in a little place called The Vault. The housewives and husbands arrived, fawning over how great they looked. Alex and Simon were Cleopatra and Mark Anthony. Not the one married to Jennifer Lopez. Alex looked good with black hair.

And then Jill arrived and proceeded to bad mouth Sonja's bad parties, the small room, the small number of guests, the bad food.

And then suddenly Sonja realized she'd forgotten a key part of her costume. Her bloomers. Or whatever she called them. She learned this while Jill  was next to her. Jill had a real good view and proceeded to inform everyone that Sonja had an enormous bruise on her butt.

Sonja was very loud about her missing underwear. Letting everyone know she was not fully dressed.

Next up was Ramona's product launch party for her Pinot Grigio line. The Countess asked Ramona one technical question after another about Ramona's wine. Til Ramona could take it no longer. The Countess, at times, really seems like she has something wrong with her.

At some point Jennifer, who's wedding we attended during the first episode, told Ramona about some bad Jill behavior at Jennifer's wedding where Jill grilled Jennifer about why she invited Alex and Simon. And about how well she knew Ramona.

Ramona took extreme umbrage. And of course, after fueled by enough Pinot, confronted Jill, who denied it all. Jill never answers a direct question. It's very annoying. Jill then left in a huff, and ran into Jennifer, totally distorting what had just happened. Then Jill went back into Ramona's party and lied about the talk she'd just had with Jennifer.

Next we see Jill crying with LuAnn, with the Countess tackily adding fuel to the fire.

I think the simple explanation for Jill, in addition to being a narcissist, is that she is a pathological liar. They are the worst of the liar breed. Because they believe their lies while they are doing their lying. And then they get mad at you when you catch them in a lie, which usually just causes more lying.

I really can not stand Cindy.

The Real Housewives of New York City Needs to Get Rid of Cindy & Get Sonja Underwear

The latest was another strange episode of The Real Housewives of New York City.

That is either Johann or Francoise with mother Alex. If I had to guess I'd say it was Francoise who got a piano for his birthday. Francoise seemed to care less.

Then in her talking head comments, Alex would be saying things like how thrilled the kid was. Then we'd cut back to the kid not being thrilled.

It was very odd.

But not as odd as Sonja's toaster oven cooking lesson. Sonja's toaster oven looked antique, which the Countess pointed out. Why would anyone think it is easier to cook in a toaster oven than a real oven? Made no sense to me.

Sonja had Cindy come to her house so Sonja could educate Sonja regarding multiple bad Cindy behaviors, including, adding to the list, dancing with Sonja's houseboy upon arrival. Cindy lied to Sonja, telling Sonja that she had not told Kelly that Sonja was having Ramona come to her toaster oven demo.

To make clear Cindy was lying Bravo showed us a clip of Cindy telling Kelly what Cindy denies telling.

Now, back to Sonja before we get to Kelly. Sonja went to some baseball thing, involving NYC firemen who were in a calendar, with Sonja throwing the first pitch at a baseball game.

Was Sonja told to come dressed as some sort of cheap hooker? As you can see in the picture above, Sonja's outfit had her looking slightly preggers.

And then we were treated to a view of Sonja's backside when the wind blew her skirt up and kept it up.

This seemed to excite some of the firemen, even more so when Sonja had them take off half their clothes. One of the firemen told Sonja after the photo shoot they should exchange information.

That is a sophisticated way of saying I want to have your phone number. This is how Kim Zolciak snagged her latest baby daddy, Kroy Biermann, on The Real Housewives of Atlanta.

Kelly displayed a little crazy Kellyness this episode, bringing up Scary Island again. Being irrational about Ramona.

Kelly bugs me bad.

But not as bad as she used to. Now, after enough exposure to Kelly, I've learned a lot of what makes her annoying is because the poor girl is so damn dumb.

Kelly and Ramona had lunch together, with Sonja. That went well. Except for Kelly saying stuff that had Ramona's eyes bulging a bit.

Jill got back from Australia and met up with some of the housewives to give them Aussie trinkets. Jill's talking head told us she was no longer going to gossip. About 5 seconds later Jill was back gossiping.

Later, in several drawn out segments, Jill went to Alex's house where they had lunch and seemed to settle their differences, with Jill actually seeming to act like a decent human.

We'll see how long Jill being decent lasts.

I really can not stand Cindy. This is the best they could find in all of New York City?

In the previews for next week we saw Sonja's bare backside again. Rivetting television.

Sonja Morgan Goes From Fan Favorite to Not on The Real Housewives of New York City

This week's episode of The Real Housewives of New York City was the episode in which Alex uttered her now famous "Thug in a Cocktail Dress" phrase.

I don't think I heard Alex say this. I must have somehow missed it.

But, I did not miss the thug in a cocktail dress.

The thug, Sonja Morgan, managed, in 2 episodes of Season 4 of RHONY, to go from being a fan favorite to a Jill Zarin level of unpopularity.

Alex is being a bit intense, so far. She is not letting anything go.

On the Watch What Happens Live episode that followed the Housewives, this week, Sonja was the guest, along with David Arquette. The poll this week asked who's side you were on, Alex or Sonja. Alex won in a landslide with something like 78% on her side. About the same number Ramona got last week when the question was who's team you were on, Team Jill or Team Ramona.

On WWHL Sonja was a bit confusing trying to spin the whole Gay Marriage debacle. At one point she claimed she'd agreed to be the Grand Marshall and speaker prior to becoming one of the Housewives. Then the Gay Marriage people wanted her to be the Grand Marshall because she'd become a Gay Icon due to being on RHONY.

Sonja was being way too full of herself. And then when the thug moment happened, it was Sonja who started it. Alex was articulately explaining why she was upset with Sonja. Sonja was unable to articulate her point of view, so she did what those who are in the wrong usually do, she got loud and aggressive and insulting and kicked Alex out of her house.

I think the portrait that Sonja's boyfriend, Brian Farrell, painted of her really captured Sonja's essence.

Last week in the preview clip of this season of RHONY we saw Sonja's bare derrierre. It was not a flattering angle.

I wondered to myself if Sonja had greatly annoyed the producers of the show, with that butt shot being a hint that Sonja makes an ass of herself this season.

So far Kelly has been the best behaved of the Housewives. Surely Kelly can't keep crazy Kelly locked up for an entire season. I hope not.

I forgot to mention, Alex is selling those Thug in a Cocktail Dress t-shirts that you saw above. Speaking of Alex and clothes. Alex and Simon really need someone to intervene regarding the clothes they choose to wear. Particularly Simon.

The Real Housewives of New York City Reunion Part 3: More Crazy Kelly, Bethenny Hugs Jill

Part 3 of The Real Housewives of New York City Reunion Show was almost a Part too many. It seemed like more of the same. Two hours of it were great. The third hour, not so much.

Listening to Kelly's incoherent babble is frustrating after awhile. It makes me want it to be a courtroom where the judge orders her to answer the question.

At the end of Part 2 Kelly stormed off the set. At the start of Part 3 the girls talk about how demented Kelly is and how hopeless it is to try and make sense of the Kelly mess.

And then Kelly returns as if nothing really happened. And then more Kooky Kelly talk starts up.

And Andy Cohen lends way too much credence to Kelly's inane insane mind ramblings, as if he is trying to re-interpret her convoluted, contradictory gibberish into something that makes sense.

If only Andy Cohen had gone after Kelly's weirdness with the intensity he went after Countess LuAnn regarding her ex-husband, the Count's, possible anti-semite attitudes.

Sonja put on display, again, why viewers have readily adopted her as a favorite. Sonja is a well-spoken, self-deprecating, self-aware, intelligent, funny voice of reason. Sort of the total opposite of Kelly.

In the last segment Andy asked each of the housewives if they'd return for another season. Alex and Sonja were enthusiastic. LuAnn sort of enthusiastic, as was Ramona. Kelly, as usual, made no sense, but she'd love to come back. And Bethenny and Jill have doubts about returning.

And then, the predictable end. After a couple tearful exchanges, Jill asked Bethenny if she could give her a hug. Bethenny nodded her assent. Jill then clumsily wobbled over to Bethenny on those ridiculous neon green high heel hooker shoes that have become a real eyesore after 3 hours.

And then Andy wrapped it up, saying it was ending happy, just like it liked to end things.

It did not seem all that happy to me. A happy ending would have been Kelly being physically removed, wrapped in a straight jacket.

Jill Zarin & Her Equally Disturbing Mother Gloria Kamen

That is Jill Zarin on the left and her mother, Gloria Kamen, next to her.

This is a very flattering picture. It appears to me, when you see Gloria in all her glory on the TV screen, that she was enamored of the work of Leona Helmsley's plastic surgeon and so engaged his services. To equally disturbing results.

Most viewers of The Real Housewives of New York City have been appalled and disgusted by the over the top mean girl behavior of Jill Zarin, who's sense of entitlement is so out of bounds with reality that in many ways she is more of a mentally ill train wreck than that sad case of paranoid hysteria known as Kelly Bensimon.

Jill Zarin managed a reality TV show wonder this season, going from being a fan favorite to being one of the all time despised villains.

Jill's mother also saw her previous positive image reversed, as we saw Jill's real mom, Gloria, for the first time, as the overbearing, mean-spirited, bitter shrew of an old lady, that she actually is.

The idea that Jill, Gloria and sister Lisa thought they had the credentials to write a book of advice is real revealing. It's like Elizabeth Taylor writing a book about how to have a long term marriage. Or Hillary Clinton writing a book about how to keep your husband faithful. Or Rush Limbaugh writing a book about how to be reasonable and fair-minded.

Well, you get the drift.

Jill is so obviously damaged by that a shrew of a mother who raised her. Jill is still seeking Gloria's approval. Like arranging that pathetic glamorous book cover photo shoot, hoping to make mommy happy, instead Gloria complained that "Mother is not HAPPY," and "That fan is making my breasts cold."

I assume, by fan, Gloria meant a device blowing wind and not one of her legion of viewer critics.

It seems clear that the "fan" attention that Jill got from the first 2 seasons of RHONY totally warped her. She convinced herself she was the star of the show. This set her up to be really upset when it became clear who the real star was. As in, Bethenny Frankel.

And then for Jill to see herself greatly eclipsed by Alex and Ramona and Sonja, now all fan favorites, while Jill has been stuck in the TV Doghouse, well, it's quite an appropriate comeuppance.

Jill Zarin has so many firestorm disasters she tries to put out. Her book got slammed on Amazon with bad reviews. So, Jill logged in as Sharon Saunders and wrote a fake positive review. It was quickly obvious due to various identifiers that Sharon was Jill. This brought much followup humiliation.

A non-Jill fan in Chicago, Lynn, has an anti-Jill website where she recently encouraged her readers to flood Jill with snail mail letting Jill know what they think of her. Jill countered by claiming she'd involved the police and post office inspectors to stop this assault.

Jill's Facebook and Twitter pages are flooded with fans giving her the bad girl bitch slapping she so richly deserves. Jill. or a rumored paid lackey, delete the comments as quickly as they can.

I have read various analyses of the bizarre Jill behavior we have witnessed. Some simply say she is a classic case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Maybe so.

I think that Alex and others got it right. Jill did not have a good time in high school. She was not one of the popular girls, due to both her mean-spirit selfishness and being a rather homely little plump girl. Jill learned to make mean girl snarky comments to overcompensate for her raging insecurity.

And then Jill becomes a Real New York City Housewife. For the first time ever she is one of the "popular" girls. Or so she thinks. But then Jill sees the real "popular" RHONY girls get that special treatment she has always been denied, Jill flips, and the totally mean, totally wrong, totally pathetic high school version of Jill comes to the foreground.

And that is the Jill Zarin we saw this season. The real Jill.

I really don't think Jill Zarin can recover. I'm thinking it'd likely be best for her to retire from the show, concentrate on Zarin Fabrics and greatly limit contact with her extremely toxic mother, Gloria Kamen.

And say I'm sorry to Bethenny Frankel and Alex McCord every opportunity she gets. Til she learns to mean it.