The Bachelor Pad Finale Drives Kasey To Tears While Holly & Michael Win

Well, the leaked details of the Bachelor Pad Finale turned out to be pretty much 100% correct.

Holly & Michael beat Michelle & Graham in the race to split $250K.

I switched over to watching Bachelor Pad when the Republican Debate on CNN went to commercial. I did not realize, at the time, that ABC was bloating Bachelor Pad to a 3 hour long time span.

Things that stick in my memory from last night.

The Cirque du Soleil competition in Las Vegas. Judged by former Bachelors/Bachelorettes, Ali Fedorowosky, or however you spell her name, Jason Mesnick and Trista, the first Bachelorette. The trio seemed way too earnest in their judging.

The earnest judges gave the win to Holly & Michael and gave the boot to Ella & Kirk. Ella took it real bad because now she'd have no money for her kid and plastic surgery.

Winners, Holly & Michael, had 2 Sacred Red Roses to give to whoever they wanted to go to the end with. After some weird Graham angst and Kasey being his clueless overly intense self, it was Michelle & Graham to the end, where they did not win.

The return of the Bachelor Pad Bootees part was the most entertaining. Watching Kasey get his comeuppance, via a clip of highlights of his most douchey behavior, with that driving him to tears, then him saying, "Sometimes it feels like I just can't get back to being happy!" Well, that was satisfying.

Another Kasey highlight was his fellow villain, Justin Rego, saying Kasey & Vienna were like Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy, with the Kermit remark referring to Kasey's odd speaking voice. This had Kasey revealing he has a speech impediment, to the seeming incredulousness of Chris Harrison.

Erica Rose was highly amusing. She really should be the next Bachelorette.

Blake's contrived, filmed, proposal to Holly was so weirdly staged, as if they were hiking in the mountains in formal wear. With cameramen in tow.

If I understood correctly, at some point someone indicated that the filming of Bachelor Pad took place over the course of only 3 weeks. Blake got smitten with Holly and vice verse in 3 weeks? I think there must be a long lag time between the end of filming and the finale filming we saw last night.

The finale ended with the introduction of Ashley reject, Ben Flajnik as the next Bachelor. I'm guessing it is going to be a trainwreck.

According to Reality Steve Holly & Michael Win Bachelor Pad With Holly Engaged to Blake While Ben Flajnik is Announced as the Next Bachelor

ABC's Bachelor Pad sort of wore out its welcome with me last week.

Erica Rose & Blake coming in 2nd in the amusing Nearlywed Game, and, like winners, Graham & Michelle, getting to leave the Pad on a date, with an overnight option.

And then on that date Erica & Blake learn that they have to give a couple back in the Pad a pair of Sacred Red Immunity Roses.

It was giving the Sacred Red Immunity Roses to Vienna & Kasey that jumped the shark for me. I really do not like Kasey. Is his nasally high pitched voice the result of a medical condition? Did puberty halt for Kasey part way through the deepening of the voice process?

I digress.

So, Erica & Blake gave away the pair of Sacred Red Immunity Roses and then were promptly evicted from the Pad. Leaving Kasey & Vienna, Ella & Kirk, Michelle & Graham and Holly & Michael remaining.

There is this guy who calls himself "Reality Steve" who is a Master of Spoilage. Near as I can tell "Reality Steve's" spoilers are close to 100% accurate, most of the time.

Below is what "Reality Steve" had to say about Monday night's Bachelor Pad Finale...

-They bring out the 14 contestants who aren’t in the final four and get an update what’s going on with everyone. Ames and Jackie’s broken relationship is brought up and Ames basically says she’s a great girl, but they’re too different. Jackie is still surprised she got dumped, but whatever. They’re not together. You knew that.

-Jake is up on the hot seat first. Talked about the triangle with him, Kasey, and Vienna. Kasey apologizes for some of the things he directed at Jake this season, and they hug it out on stage. Booooooooo…..

-Blake is up next on the hot seat. Now remember, the final four haven’t been brought out yet. Michael, Holly, Michelle, and Graham are all backstage not knowing what’s happening out on stage.

-Blake talks about the whole Melissa incident, then is asked about what’s the status with Holly. He says he’s been spending a lot of time with her, he loves her, and he’s never loved anyone like this before. Chris Harrison then steps in and says something to the effect of, “There’s more to this story…”. Then then show a clip on the big screen, where in just the last few days, Blake proposed to Holly and she accepted. They are engaged, which is why she’s moving to South Carolina. Now their tweets to each other Monday night make sense. It wasn’t specified when exactly this engagement that was shown on the big screen took place, but, it was sometime in the last few days.

-Kasey is on the hot seat next and talks about how he was embarrassed by some of the things he saw of himself on TV and that the show was very difficult to watch for him and Vienna. He says they’re in love, and that they’re still together, which we knew since they just bought a place in LA together.

-The final four is brought out on stage. Both teams had to state their case as to why they thought they deserved the money. Michael described why Holly should win, then Holly did the same as to why she thought Michael should win. Graham and Michelle did the same each explaining why they thought the other team member deserved to win. Michelle also made it clear that she didn’t want any pity votes from anyone because of what happened with her father.

-At some point during this is when Michael finds out Holly is engaged to Blake. Michael did not know. He knew Holly was moving to South Carolina, but she never told him (I guess she tried but couldn’t get a hold of him), and Michael is told that they’re engaged. He’s pretty surprised.

-Also up on stage, not sure at what point it went down, but Graham was talking about Michelle and started to get down on one knee. I guess some thought there was gonna be another proposal, but, he didn’t. He had a bouquet of flowers next to his seat. He gave one rose to Michelle, then went in the audience and gave the rest of the bouquet to her mother who was in attendance over the passing of her husband.

-Before the voting took place, the eliminated contestants got to ask the final four any questions. Rego basically said he didn’t think any of them deserved the money. Kirk asked each one individually why they thought they deserved the money. Kasey asked Michael and Holly why they deserved the money over Graham and Michelle. Michael thought that was the exact same question as Kirk’s, Kasey said no it wasn’t, but I guess Michael disagreed and said he wasn’t gonna answer the question.

-So it was voting time, as each of the 14 contestants had to write down the name of the COUPLE they wanted to win. And by an overwhelming majority of 10-4….Michael and Holly got the most votes. The only 4 votes for Graham and Michelle were from Kasey, Vienna, Melissa, and William.

-At this point, it was the same exact ending as last season. Both Michael and Holly go backstage, and have to each choose either “Keep” or “Share.”

-If one chose “Keep” and the other chose “Share”, the one who chose keep gets all 250k.
-If they both chose “Share”, they split the 250k.
-If they both chose “Keep”, neither gets anything, and the remaining 14 contestants split the 250k.

-After deliberation in the back, Holly shows her choice first, and it’s “Share.” Michael pulls a Natalie from last season and starts saying things that are leaning towards him choosing “Keep” (like finding out she’s now engaged), but in the end, he says they were partners, and he chose “Share”, so the two of them will now split 250k.

-Last order of business was Ben being brought out and he’s introduced as the next “Bachelor.” In case you didn’t read what I wrote three weeks ago when I announced this, the women arrive in LA on Saturday the 17th, and filming begins on Ben’s season Tuesday, September 20th.

On Bachelor Pad Is Jake Getting the Boot Continued Next Week?

That is Erica Rose, she being the girl with the tiara, and tonight with a crystal gavel, which she pounded on the voting box when she stuffed smug Kasey's picture into the box on the August 22 episode of Bachelor Pad.

Erica Rose pretty much owned tonight's episode, bringing her special type of charm to bear. sneaking up on conversations, manipulating Crazy Melissa, hooking up with Jake.

And being amusing with her disdain for swimming.

The boys and girls having to perform a synchronized swimming routine to win a Sacred Rose was amusing. Michelle Money and Michael Stagliano won the roses. Michael took his ex, Holly, Ella and Vienna with him, while Michelle took Vienna's boyfriend, Kasey, Graham and Blake.

Jake was busy scrambling to convince people that Kasey needed to go. When it came time to vote, a curve was thrown, like last week, only this week it was the girls who were all safe, with one guy getting booted.

So, this had it down to Jake and Kasey. Kasey is such a smug, annoying creature with one of the worst speaking voices I've ever heard. While Jake is also a smug, annoying creature, who is even more annoying than Kasey.

Kasey came unglued when he realized a coup was in the works to take him down. These people take this all so serious. With the most serious being Jake. His overly earnest way of acting seriously grates.

So, it was down to Kasey and Jake for that final Sacred Rose. We hear Chris Harrison say the first syllable of Kasey's name, then cut to closing credits with the masked man doing synchronized swimming moves.

With no "To Be Continued" and no previews of next week's Bachelor Pad.

So, who got the boot? If it ended up being Jake, an awful lot of time was wasted making us think otherwise.

So far I am finding Bachelor Pad to be rather amusing. Much better than its first season. And I'm finding I'm actually liking Michelle Money and Erica Rose.

And Jake Pavelka needs to be off TV once and for all time.

On The Bachelor Pad Ames Leaves With Jackie While Gia Boots Herself From The Pad

That is Ames in the back of Jackie's exit Limo after she was kicked out of the Bachelor Pad Monday night.

When Jackie got the boot instead of Ella, Ames seemed like he did not quite know what to do. He walked Jackie to the limo.

Then he walked back to the non-bootees.

Then Ames robotically ran his red pants towards Jackie's limo, which somehow magically knew to stop.

With cameramen ready to record the reunion.

Ames and Jackie then rode off into the night, while the remaining Bachelor Padders ooh and awed at the romance of it all, with one commenting that babies were about to be made.

This week's Bachelor Pad episode started with a fun competition for this week's dates. All the boys lined up with a bulls eye painted on their backs. One by one, in response to a question, the girls threw a paint ball egg at the guy of their choice. For instance the question might be something like "Which guy do you think would make the ugliest babies." If the girl managed to hit someone, with the paintball exploding, she'd get a point.

Creepy sociopath Jake Pavelka and Princess Erica Rose took the most hits. In the end, Melissa Schreiber and Michael Stagliano won.

Each got to take 3 of the opposite sex on a date. And give one of those three a Sacred Rose.

Michael chose to take his ex, Holly Durst, Michelle Money and Erica Rose. He took Erica because he felt so guilty about almost knocking Erica out by throwing an egg so hard at her, when the question was "Who is the least attractive?"

Melissa chose to take Vienna's boyfriend Casey, Kirk Dewindt and Blake Julian. For reasons that made little sense to me, Melissa told Casey she'd give him the Sacred Rose, even before they went on their yachting date.

However, on the yachting date Blake made what he described as the moves of a prostitute, whoring himself out for a quarter million dollars. Apparently Melissa can tell all sorts of things by how a guy kisses. Armed with this knowledge Blake hit Melissa with one of his awesome kisses. This quickly caused Melissa to give Blake the sacred rose, sending Casey and Kirk off the yacht in a little dinghy.

Melissa and Blake then, in Melissa's words, hooked up all night long. This hooking up caused Melissa to be convinced she was now Blake's girl friend, which caused all sorts of problems for Blake back in the Bachelor Pad when he was caught canoodling with Holly.

Leading up to the boot time there was a lot of scrambling in the Bachelor Pad.

I find Casey really annoying, self-satisfied mumbling nitwit that he is. He tried to manipulate fellow nitwit, Gia, which soon backfired, with Gia confronting Graham, which then had Gia suddenly leaving the Bachelor Pad. For good. Gia decided she was just not cut out for Bachelor Pad shenanigans.

Jake's plot to save himself was to try and make a plea to Vienna to do a kind thing and save him. That did not work out too well for him.

But then Chris Harrison arrived to announce the producers had come up with a scheme to save Jake one more week. That scheme being that this week two ladies would be sent home, with all the guys safe from getting the Pad boot.

This had Vienna calling a foul, saying this was cheating. Vienna sort of had a point.

But, Jake makes for good TV. Everyone enjoys watching a clueless sociopath try and fool people into thinking he really is a nice guy.

I like Jackie. She is real cute and spunky. I also like Ames. He is sort of a one of kind. He has a very interesting demeanor about him. Will Jackie Gordon become Mrs. Ames Brown. It would not surprise me if this becomes one of the few Bachelor franchise successful relationships.

I'm sure I watched the previews of next week's Bachelor Pad, but right now I am drawing a blank. I'm guessing we were shown some fresh Jake and Vienna drama. With Casey mumbling.

Bachelor Pad: Justin & Alli Kicked Out of the Pad on the 1st Episode

Well, I watched the first 3 hour long episode of the 2nd season of ABC's Bachelor Pad.

Three hours.

Not all the occupants of Bachelor Pad were introduced with a slick intro. But, the ones who had some history, issue, infamy or conflict were.

Like Gia Allemond, the 26 year old model who was on the first season of Bachelor Pad. Gia had a chart showing her lack of love at the love connections, such as hooking up with Wes on Bachelor Pad, with Wes then having a fling with Vienna, which thus sets up Vienna as Gia's villain.

I can't remember if Vienna was already in the house when Gia arrived, or the other way around. I do remember they were very cold to each other.

Then we have Vienna's current boyfriend, Casey Kahl, a 27 year old philanthropist. Huh? Who claims to have bulked up with 30 pounds of solid muscle, ready to take on the evil Jake Pavelka, should he arrive as expected.

Then when Jake does arrive, Casey turned out to be mostly bluster as Jake tried to make nice.

The first challenge of this iteration of Bachelor Pad was interesting. The Padmates were told to pair up. Jackie Gordon paired with Jake, even though she thought she was secretly paired with Ames Brown, the really smart robot we'd recently seen rejected by Ashley. Ames and Jackie were in the garden making out, thinking no prying eyes were watching. They were wrong.

For the challenge the male half of the couple was strapped into a harness. The female half then wrapped herself around the male while a winch lifted them about 10 feet in the air. The last couple to fall to the bed below got immunity roses plus an additional rose to give to the Padmate of their choice.

The coupling challenge went on for a long time. I have never seen so many variations of the basic missionary position. Eventually it was down to Jake & Jackie, coupling against Vienna & Casey.

Eventually Casey's pelvic region could take it no longer, giving Jake the win, much to the upset of Vienna, who took it out on Casey and his aching pelvis.

Jake and Jackie then went on a date toin Hollywood where they had food on the roof of an awning of a theater. It was strange. On this roof Jake told Jackie his mythical story of what ended his connection with Vienna. Jackie suggested Jake give Vienna the immunity rose.

And so he did. When Jake gave Vienna the rose he asked Vienna and Casey to follow him, so he could talk to them. Apparently Jake is on Bachelor Pad to try and re-spin the bizarre incident that caused viewers to realize he was a scary sociopath, with that bizarre incident being the break-up special with Chris Harrison where Jake displayed his temper in a very bad way.

Some think it is obvious Jake is a sociopath. I think he suffers from classic Little Man Syndrome. Jake's apology to Vienna for his temper tantrum and his spin on it all was not being bought by Vienna. Or Casey.

After Jake wound down, Vienna and Casey took off to find a bedroom, and while Jake was telling the camera how well that went and how he now had closure and how he hoped he could now be friends with Casey & Vienna, Vienna was taking off her clothes and climbing into bed with Casey for some robust adult exercize.

When Vienna took off her clothes, recorded by Nightvision, ABC did not pixelate any private parts. Instead of pixelating, big black boxes were used to preserve Vienna's modesty. Such as it is.

The last half hour, or so, was spent plotting who would go home. In the end it was Alli Travis and the Canadian dumbass, Justin Rego, who made a memorably bitter exit, grabbing Jake's rose and spewing some amusing nonsense.

Several of the Padmates seem quite driven to get the paltry, by Reality TV standards, $250,000 prize. Vienna, who's bio says she is unemployed, has big plans for the money. If I remember right, the plans include buying a house, taking her parents on a cruise, buying a business, investing in the stock market, paying off her debts and who knows what else.

If I remember right, the first season of Bachelor Pad the $250K turned into $125K, due to the couple in the end splitting the $250K.

The previews look entertaining. With Vienna determined to win the big money, she says she'll choose the money over her supposed boyfriend. I have trouble telling them apart, but either Kirk Dewindt or Blake Julian get into all sorts of heat from some female Padmates.

I'll likely keep watching. I'm hoping the subsequent episodes are not 3 hours long.

Bachelor Pad: David & Natalie Win While Melissa Rycroft is the One on the Show Impregnated

The guy on the left looking all bug-eyed and goofy is David Good. The girl on the right looking all bug-eyed and goofy is Natalie Getz.

David and Natalie won, if you can call it that, Bachelor Pad. Towards the end Dave said it was all surreal.

I could agree with that.

Most surreal part for me was the 3 remaining couples learning a ballroom dance, taught by 3 Dancing with the Stars professionals. This had David doing a lot of dancing with Louis Van Amstel

After the couples learned their dance, they performed in front of a panel of three esteemed ballroom dancing experts. Jake Pavelka, Trista Rehn Sutter and, if I am remembering right, Melissa Rycroft. Who we later learned, at the start of the supposed live hour, is the Bachelor Pad person who got impregnated during the course of the show.

Why would they put the thoroughly disgraced Jake Pavelka on this judging panel. He did manage to be amusing with his pompous critiquing, like he is Mr. Dance Expert.

Anyway, Kiptyn and Tenley won the coveted Disco Ball Trophy and the right to decide who they wanted to compete against in the finals.

They chose to send Jesse Kovacs and Elizabeth Kitt home. In separate limousines.

The second hour was the supposed live return of the evicted Bachelor Pad residents, returned so they could sit in judgement of the final 2 couples. I've never seen anything "LIVE" on TV that did not constantly tell you it was "LIVE", as in having "LIVE" somewhere on the screen.

When we went "LIVE", first the two hosts, Chris Harrison and Melissa and her Baby Hump, caught up with some of the evictees. Kovacs and Elizabeth de-boinked post Pad. Elizabeth seemed a tad bitter. Kovacs seemed a bit relieved. Gia has now dumped her boyfriend and new boyfriend, Wes, is currently valuing Gia at $1 million. Tenley and Kiptyn are now officially boy friend/girl friend, according to Tenley. And Dave and Natalie are long distant friends, discussing if they want to progress their relationship to the next level, which must be beyond the Fantasy Suite, because they've already done that level.

Then the evictees got to ask questions of the final pairs. It was actually sort of amusing. In many ways better than when the Survivor jury asks questions of the final Survivors. Gwen got to make Dave squirm due to informing him that she'd overheard him telling others what a sad, pathetic thing it is that an elderly lady, like Gwen, would be on such a show to find love. Gwen said she was on it for the money. Juan objected to Gwen's age being characterized as elderly, since he is only 3 years younger than Gwen.

Then the 4 got to plead their case to the jury. Dave and Natalie up first. They were not too annoying. Natalie was funny. Kiptyn and Tenley were very beauty pageant-like. We learned Tenley lost her house and dragged her parents down with her. The money would help her fix everything. With enough left over for fun. Kiptyn did not want to come on the show til he realized the charitable type good he could do with that fortune of $250 million. I mean thousand.

Then the evictees voted on who should win. 15 voting, 8 votes needed to win. Dave and Natalie got 8 votes. Which means they won.

But, we still have 15 minutes to go. Now we have to decide which of the pair gets the money. Dave and Natalie are led to separate rooms to decide whether they want to share the money or keep it all for themselves. If both choose "share" they share. If one chooses "keep" and the other chooses "share" the one who chose "keep" keeps all the money. If both chose "keep" then the fortune gets split among the 15 evictees and Dave and Natalie get nothing.

Dave and Natalie agonize over their choices, while the evictees speculate that Natalie is always out for herself and will likely choose to "keep" the money. The pair are led back on stage by some sort of security guy.

Dave reveals he wants to share. Natalie looks pained. She asks if she can say something. Harrison says "NO." Harrison then repeats what he's already repeated and then asks Natalie if she has anything to say. Natalie then proceeds to act as if she is rationalizing why she chose "keep", but then pulls out "share" with Dave looking very relieved.

It seemed very staged to me.

The ratings ended up being good for this bit of BAD TV. Are they going to bring back this train wreck next summer?

Bachelor Pad Finale: Who Has Been Impregnated?

Tomorrow night, Monday, September 13, ABC's Bachelor Pad comes to a merciful 2 hour end.

Last week Bachelor Pad somehow managed to come in #12 in the Nielsen Ratings.

Before Bachelor Pad premiered, its producer, Mike Fleiss, sleazily claimed an impregnation took place during the filming of the randy occupants of the Bachelor Pad.

I believe part of tomorrow's 2 hour bloat is some sort of reunion show. Will it be revealed who is heavy with child?

I think we can narrow down the suspects.

It is not likely that one of the girls who was not paired with one of the guys somehow managed a momentary assignation that resulted in getting in the family way.

It seems obvious our chief suspects are Tenley, Natalie, Elizabeth and Peyton.

Now, Peyton seems highly unlikely, but there was some sleazy implications when Peyton spent the night with Jesse B in the notorious baby-making Fantasy Suite. But then the next time the Fantasy Suite offer came up, with Jesse B, Peyton had no interest.

Now, before Natalie switched her affections to David Good, she was all over Jesse B. If Natalie turns out to be the mother-to-be it would seem the suspected impregnaters would be Jesse B or David.

Tenley and Kiptyn spent a night in the notorious Fantasy Suite. After Tenley shared with us that she had not been with a man since, now disgraced, Jake Pavelka had his way with her, implying she was about to have her way with Kiptyn. Tenley strikes me as the type of girl who would be careful about unwanted surprises.

That leaves us with one more suspect.

Elizabeth Kitt.

Elizabeth is my #1 suspect. First off, unlike Tenley, Elizabeth strikes me as the type of girl who might be careless about unwanted surprises. Elizabeth is the only one of the girls about whom there is no doubt that she engaged in the behavior that can lead to baby production.

As in, last week Elizabeth and Jesse Kovacs snuck into the Fantasy Suite, where they proceeded to break the bed working on their fantasy. After the bed breaking part of the evening was over Elizabeth proceeded to harangue Jesse about not romancing her enough. Jesse then asked Elizabeth, "What about what we just did." To which Elizabeth replied, "You just got laid, is what we just did."

Now, unless the vernacular has changed for this younger generation, "getting laid" means having engaged in pro-creative activities.

So, my guess is poor Jesse Kovacs is about to be a baby daddy. Of all those girls my thinking is the only one worse to manage to knock up would be Michelle, she being the first one booted out of the Bachelor Pad, after a brouhaha regarding Tenley's rumor mongering that Michelle had been hankypankying in the middle of the night with the poofy-haired Canadian, Craig McKinnon

I'm thinking maybe Michelle should be added to the list of suspects.

Bachelor Pad: Peyton & Jesse B Evicted While Jesse K Rails Elizabeth in the Fantasy Suite

I think I said I was done with ABC's Bachelor Pad train wreck. Well, the DVR recorded it, and there was nothing else tempting me to watch. And so I FFed Bachelor Pad.

This latest episode was actually sort of entertaining. And sleazy.

It started off with the news that 3 girls would be leaving that morning. Via a fairly simple method. In a long drawn out process, determined by the spin of a bottle, one by one the remaining 4 boys asked one of the girls if she would accept a kiss, not a rose, a kiss, with the kiss signifying they would now be teamed as a couple in the Bachelor Pad.

So, there was no suspense, even though the boys paced back and forth in front of the girls. Jesse B kissed Peyton, Jesse K kissed Elizabeth, Dave G kissed Natalie and Kiptyn kissed Tenley.

Then there was a water balloon toss to determine which couple got the magic roses with a solo date. Dave and Natalie won the balloon toss.

On their date Dave and Natalie got to drive a car to the beach. But not before Jesse K and Elizabeth broke it in by making out all over the vehicle.

I do not recollect a Fantasy Suite offer popping up on Dave and Natalie. But, Jesse and Elizabeth got rebellious and snuck into the Bachelor Pad's Fantasy Suite.

I was totally confused. Has this been the Fantasy Suite these people have been staying in? I thought it was out of the Bachelor Pad. They come back to the Bachelor Pad and then go up to the Fantasy Suite?

So, for the first time it was made totally clear what goes on in the Fantasy Suite, when, during a bizarre bit of post-coital dialog between Jesse and Elizabeth, Elizabeth said, in response to something Jesse said that, "you just got laid." Previous to that there was some talk of railing. The lingo these kids use is lost on me.

Now, when Jesse and Elizabeth had their post-coital conversation, the camera was right there to record it. How does that happen? Do Jesse and Elizabeth signal that they are done and ready to have some post-coital conversation recorded? Or is the cameraman with them all the time?

Elizabeth did not seem very satisfied with Kovac's Fantasy Suite performance. Before going to the Fantasy Suite to perform, Jesse told us that he knew Elizabeth was nuts, or crazy, or something like that. I don't find her attractive at all. You can see her wrinkled old lady future when the camera is in closeup mode or the lighting is bad.

There was a lot of talk about strategy. About how it would be best to get rid of Kovacs and Elizabeth. It was all drawn out and pointless. In the end the predictable boot got booted, Jesse B and Peyton. I like both of them. Though I do not understand why Jesse B would cover his skin with so many tattoos.

Next week is the finale of Bachelor Pad. All the evictees are back.

What is with the incestuous relationship between Bachelor Pad and Dancing with the Stars? Last week the new dancing cast of DWTS was announced live during Bachelor Pad. In this week's previews we learn that the couples get taught a ballroom dance by DWTS pro dancers, like Edyta, who Dave gets all drooly over. Somehow the couple's dance performance figures in to how the final two couples are determined.

And then that final couple fights in a mud wrestling match to see who wins the $250,000 they all seem quite desperate to win. I made that up.

Bachelor Pad Has Become A Big DUD

When I first heard of Bachelor Pad I thought it had possible potential. When I saw the first previews, I thought, even more so, that it had possible potential.

But now, by week 4. Or is it 5? The potential has not developed, instead it appears that Bachelor Pad is a big FAIL for ABC.

In this week's episode the Padders had to answer questions about their Padmates, questions like, who is the dumbest person in the house?, who will likely die an old maid?, who has the fattest butt?, who has the worst boob job?, which guy has the smallest personal joystick?, who is the biggest slut?, who is the best looking? who is the homeliest?

Well, you get the drift. It was all rather mean-spirited and really did not produce all that much amusement. There were some hurt feelings and crying. But it was all really quite boring.

But not as boring as the date survey winner, Tinley, took Kiptyn on. I am not sure, but I think Kiptyn had his way with Tinley in the Fantasy Suite. But you never know about these things. Tinley did happen to share with us that she has not let a man have his way with her since Jake broke her heart.

Last week it was implied, rather strongly, that Jesse B. had had his way with Peyton, after she invited him to spend the night in the Fantasy Suite. But this week, when Jesse B. picked Peyton do go solo with him, the evening went so poorly, with Jesse burping, drinking too much, doing weird stuff and totally turning Peyton off, that Peyton turned down the Fantasy Suite offer. In the solo confessionals it was like last week in the Fantasy Suite never happened. It was all very weird.

In the end Wes and Crissily were sent home. Is that how you spell Crissily. I don't care enough to check.

There is just no plot to Bachelor Pad, no story, no strategy. Nothing. And yet I watch. Blessings of a DVR and a FF button. I'm still not getting, nor is anyone else, how the winner is picked.

Bachelor Pad: Weatherman Jonathon & Gia Sent Home While David & Natalie and Peyton & Jesse B Have Wild Fantasy Suite Romps

You're looking at the Bachelor Pad party people in the pool prior to their numbers being reduced by 6.

This week it was Swimsuit Model, Gia and Weatherman, Jonathon, who got kicked out of the Bachelor Pad.

The coveted sacred immunity rose was won this week by David and Peyton. They won the coveted sacred immunity rose in a blind kissing contest in which they were voted the best kissers.

As a reward David and Peyton got to go on a date with 3 girls and 3 boys of their choosing. And then at some point in the date each got one of those special cards, with last night's special cards telling the winning kissers that they could take one of the girls, or in Peyton's case, boys, to one of those notorious Fantasy Suites for a night of special hanky panky.

David picked Natalie, she being the slutty one Jesse B had finished having his way with. Peyton picked Natalie's ex, Jesse B, who, the morning after the wild night in the Fantasy Suite, explained to Peyton that the reason she was bruised was, "We went at it pretty rough last night." Or words to that effect.

The producer of Bachelor Pad has said that an impregnation took place while Bachelor Bordello Pad was filmed. Is Jesse B the papa to be?

I think it was the winning kisser, David Good, who was a bit non-plussed about the serial kissing contest, due to being a bit of a germaphobe. The reality did come down to the fact that it amounted to kissing every girl and boy in the house.

The Bachelor Padders get way too intense over who is going to get sent home. A lot of yammering about strategy. I don't see a lot of strategy. I don't get how the Bachelor Pad game works. When it is down to 2 remaining how is the winner picked? At some point do the two tribes merge, with only 1 being voted off and that one becoming a member of the jury, ala Survivor?

Anyway, I could only make it through half of last night's Bachelor Pad. I fast forwarded through the rest while I had lunch. By the conclusion of the 2 hours I'd come to the conclusion that that Gia is one dumb chicky. Wes is like Shakespeare, only cuter. And how many times did Gia use the word "amazing" to describe Wes? It was amazing.

I may not watch any more Bachelor Pad. I don't care who wins the money. Or who is the next guy Natalie has her way with. Or who is the next girl Jesse B bruises in an impregnation attempt.

Bachelor Pad: Nasty Pie Eating With Jessie S & Craig M Sent Home

I liked the first episode of ABC's Bachelor Pad. I did not like the 2nd episode. It was sort of painful to watch.

First off there was this nasty pie eating contest. The winners get a rose and a group date.

First eating were the girls. These were large pies. No utensils, hands behind the back. Soon the girls were throwing up. Always top-notch entertainment. There was an amusing moment or two, but right now I'm not remembering what they were.

In the end, with coaching from pseudo boyfriend Wes Hayden, Gia Allemand ate her pie first.

For the boys, the teeny Weatherman, Jonathan Novack, out ate the big boys, winning a coveted rose and a group date.

After the pie eating debacle there was a lot of Big Brother/Survivor type strategizing. Somehow it seemed to be universally agreed that the house was divided between the Cool Kids and the Outsiders. Gia was the gangleader of the Outsiders, along with the Weatherman. They hatched a solid plot to take control of the house.

Key to the Outsider's takeover was Gia taking Canadian, Craig McKinnon, on her date and giving him the coveted immunity rose.

Prior to that date, the Weatherman took a couple Outsiders and a floater to a weird body painting thing. I don't think anyone in TV Land really wants to be seeing that Weatherman guy in a skimpy Speedo. I went into fast forward mode til clothing returned.

The Weatherman did some good plotting. I did not realize he could do such a thing. The coup was falling into place.

And then Gia went on her group date. Gia pulls Craig aside and flat out tells him she is giving him the rose. Then Gia talks to Wes, who sweet talks her. In the end, in one of the weirdest, stupidest things I've seen on a Reality TV Show, Gia gave the coveted immunity rose to Wes, thus throwing the Outsider's Coup Plot into disarray.

The plan had been for the girls to vote out little Cool Kid, Kiptyn Locke. The Cool Kid's girls were going after rose-less Craig. Gia thought that even after her betrayal of Craig, the Outsider girls still had the votes to get rid of Kiptyn.

But, Nikki Kappke flipped and voted to get rid of Craig. This was amusing to watch as Gia was stunned, stunned, I tell you, asking what happened. I was thinking, what happened is you messed up by not following the Outsider's coup plan.

I'm a little confused by it all. The boy's sent Jessie Sulidis home. The Cool Kids were gloating that they'd thwarted the coup attempt. But, don't the Outsider girl's still have at least a tie? On the boy's side, the Cool Kids seem a solid majority. I'm guessing this means the Weatherman's days are numbered.

At the sacred Rose Ceremony Chris Harrison tried to stir up some drama by wearing a very strange shirt and tie and asking probing questions.

The coupling question came up, somehow directed at Elizabeth who keeps saying she loves Kovacs. Elizabeth then says something like it's no different than Kiptyn and Tenley, which causes Tenley to say something like, "But we're not physical." To which Elizabeth says, "Thanks for calling us out."

This caused Tenley to burst into tears. Now, there was a scene of Elizabeth and Kovacs getting all smoochy. Then we cut to a shower curtain, we see shadows, water flowing and hear sort of suggestive sounds. But, nothing to clearly indicate this was Elizabeth and Kovacs getting all wet. It was very odd.

Bachelor Pad: Michelle Kujawa & Juan Barbieri First Evictions

Michelle Kujawa and Juan Barbieri were the first booted by their Padmates in Monday night's first episode of Bachelor Pad.

Bachelor Pad turned out to be more entertaining than I anticipated. I made very little use of the fast forward button.

The Padmates arrived one by one, with Tenley Molzhan arriving first. She's the girl who dodged a bullet by being rejected by psycho Jake Pavelka. At the time it broke her heart. Now I'm sure she's relieved.

It did not take long for Tenley to grow annoying.

After the arrival of all the Padmates they discovered they shared one big bedroom filled with bunkbeds.

Michelle corrected predicted that as soon as the lights went out there would be some hooking up on the bunk beds. By morning Tenley was telling everyone that the bunkbed sharing noises, heard in the night, were coming from Michelle, who had crawled into the bunk of Craig McKinnon.

Michelle was motivated to curry favor with Craig because he won the Twister game giving him an immunity rose with a second immunity rose to hand out on a date where Craig got to pick 3 to go with him. Hence Michelle's motivation to climb into bed with Craig.

Michelle eventually heard that Tenley was telling the others that it was Michelle smacking on Craig, which Michelle denied, and then later confronted Tenley in the bathroom, driving the fragile girl to tears and sealing Michelle's fate as the first girl evictee.

The girls all wanted to get rid of Craig first. Then he ruined their plans by winning Twister.

I did not start watching the most recent The Bachelorette until Craig was gone, so I don't know what he did, or said, to the annoyingly pathetic Weatherman, Jonathon Novack, that made the girls not like Craig, and the Weatherman, scared of Craig. Craig's Canadian. Canadians are usually harmless. Annoying, but harmless.

Then we had Elizabeth Kitt. She was a brunette when she refused to let the aforementioned psycho Jake Pavelka kiss her. She is now a blonde. This really is not a good look for her. During Twister Elizabeth made clear to Craig she and the girls wanted him evicted. So, Craig took Elizabeth on the date, along with Jessie Sulidis, with whom he made a pact when they were the final two Twistering. During the group date, Craig ended up giving the other immunity rose to Jessie.

Back to Elizabeth. Turns out she was the nutcase, way more than Michelle, this first episode. Her loopy confrontations with this guy named Jesse Kovacs, who she claimed to love, were really bizarre, leaving Kovacs very perplexed, and in the end, in the bottom two with Juan Barbieri, who was the one the girls sent home.

Juan's problem was he was getting a dose of hell hath no fury syndrome from Nikki Kappke, with whom, apparently, Juan had indulged in some bad boy behavior.

The oldest girl in the house, Gwen Goia, I remember. The very first time I watched The Bachelor I had no idea what was going on. It was the episode before the finale, or maybe the one before that. But, I remember being perplexed watching this guy named Aaron go on a date with this girl named Gwen. Seemed to have a good time. Then dumped her. With Gwen quite upset.

I do not think any of the other Padmates knew who Gwen was. They must have all still been in grade school where Gwen's season aired. David Good wondered why a mother figure was in the house. Did she have some sort of babysitting function? On the ABC Bachelor Pad website, where you can read bios of the Padmates, all state their age, except Gwen, for her it says, "Age:????" My guess is 42.

Once the rules were explained, boys vote out girls and vice versa, most of the Padmates quickly figured out there was some plotting and manipulating to do. So, the plotting and manipulating began.

The sleazy guy who produces the Bachelor/Bachelorette/Pad franchise, Mike Fleiss (I have no idea if related to Heidi) has said an impregnation takes place on the show, along with a surprising level of sexual hijinks, that show is a raunchfest and orgy, with everyone hooking up.

I don't believe there is a live 24/7 video feed like there is for Big Brother, so I guess there will be no viewer viewing of the raunchfest stuff that does not make it on the edited version.

Bachelor Pad has the potential to continue to be entertaining. Let's hope it does.

Bachelor Pad Party Starts Tonight

I believe tonight, Monday, August 9, ABC's Bachelor Pad starts up. It's 2 hours long. I don't know if each episode is 2 hours long. I'll watch after the DVR records enough to give me FF ability.

The previews for Bachelor Pad seem to indicate that there is a lot of drama in the Bachelor Pad. Drama on a Reality TV Show is usually entertaining. And alcohol fueled

I'm not completely clear on how Bachelor Pad works, but I've been able to glean that it is some mutant mix between The Bachelor/Bachelorette/Big Brother and Survivor.

Nineteen former Bachelors and Bachelorettes make up the residents of the Bachelor Pad.

Each week there is a competition. The winner gets a rose. With that rose the winner is safe from being voted out of the tribe, I mean out of the Bachelor Pad. The rose winner gets to pick, I think, 3 people to go on a date with him or her. On that date the first rose winner gives out another immunity rose.

Chris Harrison is the host, so that should guarantee a certain level of smarm. That girl that Jason Mesnik famously dumped, Melissa Rycroft, shows up in some role. Maybe she runs the eviction segment.

All the Bachelor Pad residents share one big bedroom, sleeping in bunkbeds. Apparently tonight one pair decides to share a bunk. Noisily.

I read this morning that Bachelor Pad is going to test the limits of how R-Rated a network Reality TV Show can get. Apparently this is a clothing optional, for the most part, Bachelor Pad.

Oh. One more thing. The last person in the house wins a quarter million dollars. So, Bachelor Pad is not about the search for love, it's about the search for love and money.

Bachelor Jake Pavelka Dumped Vienna Over Trust Issues

Apparently Jake Pavelka, he of The Bachelor fame, has ceased being a pilot to become full time TV fodder, in various formats.

Jake went right from The Bachelor to Dancing With The Stars, then he was filming something called Drop Dead Diva, in Atlanta, when the Vienna Girardi red flags waved too strongly to ignore, with Jake having trust issues that had rendered rocky Jake & Vienna's 3 month relationship.

So, Jake called Vienna from Atlanta and dumped her.

Jake and Vienna have agreed to be interviewed about the tragic demise of their storybook love affair. I assume the interview will be conducted by Chris Harrison. The interview will air on the July 5 episode of The Bachelorette.

Jake will be working on mending his aching heart by appearing on a The Bachelor spin-off called Bachelor Pad. Bachelor Pad is some sort of competition show with a prize of a quarter million dollars. And another shot at falling in love.

Is Bachelor Pad some sort of Big Brother type show?

On Bachelor Pad Jake will be back with several old friends from his stint as The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, where we first saw Jake driven to tears.

Kooky Michele Kujawa will be in the Bachelor Pad. Also in attendance are other Jake rejectees, Elizabeth Kitt, Tenley Molzahn, Gia Allemand, Ashley Elmore and Jessie Sulidis. I remember Michele, Tenley, Gia and Elizabeth, with Elizabeth being the don't kiss me tease. I do not remember Ashley and Jessie.

In the Bachelor Pad, with Jake, are fellow Jillian rejectees from The Bachelorette, Kiptyn Locke, Wes Hayden, David Good, Jesse Kovacs and Juan Barbieri.

Bachelor Pad starts up Monday, August 9 at 8/7 Central on ABC.